


Complication In Your Heart

by DracosPubicHair



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Fluff, Happy Ending, Juvenile Hall, M/M, Murder, One Night Stands, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychopaths In Love, Smut, Violence, surprisingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 03:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12808515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracosPubicHair/pseuds/DracosPubicHair
Summary: Michael has killed over 10 people and has never been caught, and maybe Luke is just as crazy.





	Complication In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> VERY IMPORTANT:
> 
> Okay let me explain myself... This story is so fucked up. Like, so fucked up.
> 
> **Please do not read if the idea of your favorite characters committing heavy crimes will make you feel uneasy.**  
> **Please do not read if you cannot handle reading about rape/non-con**
> 
> That's pretty much it... And if you do decide to read, please read with caution.  
> But please do keep in mind that I 100% believe in happy endings for all my fics. So thats not completely terrible..... :-)
> 
> And if you're interested, I created a Spotify playlist for this fic. You can find it here. https://open.spotify.com/user/jademaltese/playlist/6J109Ng7tFoeaSiazukb4S
> 
> Enjoy the dark side of AO3!!

Michael steps off his boat and wipes his wet hands onto his blue jeans. A man with a straw hat that’s working on his boat waves at him, and Michael flashes a smile back. He walks down the dock and goes to the parking lot, approaching his car when he sees a ticket sitting on his windshield. The red head curses and snatches the ticket, shoving it into his pocket. His mood changes when a wave of anger engulfs him, and all he can think of is what he would do to the officer that gave him a ticket. He gets into his car and digs into his pocket forcefully, whipping out the slip and skimming the words. He sees that the name of the officer reads “D Charles.” He groans and shoves the ticket into his glove box before starting the engine and getting the hell out of that parking lot.

 

* * *

 

 **December 15, 2007**   

 **11:20 AM**  

 

“Does everyone have their Secret Santa presents?” The teacher asked, looking around the room at her 6th graders. Mrs. Kim smiled at how all the kids nodded their heads as they pulled their wrapped presents up from under their desks, “Very good, we’ll get to the exchange now, all right?”

All the kids formed a circle around the room. Chatting was heard all around including giggles and loud groaning. Luke held his secret Santa Gift he received in his hands, waiting for his turn to be called out to guess who gave it to him. His mom completely forgot about getting some guy named Tyler's Secret Santa gift, seeing that his favorite hobby was skateboarding and his favorite color was red. It didn’t say much to help Luke chose a gift for the boy. He was most definitely not going to spend a hundred dollars on a skateboard for a kid he barely knew, so he settled on a simple Target gift card instead. Hopefully he could buy something for himself there, like a  _red_  slushy for all he cared.

He looked up into Tyler’s direction and seen that he looked down at the card with a disappointed expression. He rolled his eyes and shoved the card back into the bag carelessly. Luke felt a pang in his chest when he seen the way the other boy treated his gift. Sure, it wasn’t luxurious, but at least be fucking thankful.

“Luke, wanna come into the middle of the circle and guess who your Secret Santa is?” Mrs. Kim asked.

Luke nodded and stood in the middle of the circle, looking down at the stuffed penguin. He scanned the room, eyes landing on a girl with a smile on her face. He pointed at her.

She shook her head, smile still evident. Luke looked at his teacher to indicate that he didn’t know, so Luke’s Secret Santa stood out and gave the blond a goofy smile. He had dark brown hair and a chubby face. Luke never knew any of his classmate’s names. He never bothered to care.

“It was Calum!” The teacher said over enthusiastically, mostly because she wanted to get a reaction out of Luke, who didn’t exactly budge from his spot. He just stared at the dark haired boy who was smiling too wide for Luke’s liking. The best Luke could do to return the favor was to force a smile and walk back to his spot in the circle. More students went by until the kid Luke gave his present to was stood in the middle of the circle.

“Tell everyone what your Secret Santa got you, Tyler!” Mrs. Kim pressed.

Tyler rolled his eyes and took the gift card out of the bag Luke’s mother put together. He held it up lamely as he looked at each individual in the circle. Laughter was heard all around the room, but Luke kept a straight face. His fists clenched and his blood boiled when the boy scoffed at the gift once, then made a random guess as to who it was. He was wrong, so Luke had to step up when the teacher asked.

Tyler looked at Luke up and down before spitting, “Thanks a lot, Hemmings.” And walking back to his spot in the circle where his friends whispered into his ear and giggled into Luke’s direction. Luke could feel his face get red and his hands went numb from how tight he was clenching them, the stuffed penguin neglected to his feet now. But time went on and the world kept spinning. Much to Luke’s dismay.

 

* * *

 

 “Shit.” Michael mutters, running his hand through his hair as he walks out of the parking garage. He trots up the stairs to his shitty apartment complex in hopes that he can just get some peace and quiet for the rest of the evening. When he goes to unlock his door, he can’t help but notice that the empty apartment across from him was in fact, not empty anymore. The door was wide open and there was a box right in the middle of the doorway. No one would stay in that apartment due to its history, where a suicide took place and the body wasn't found until 2 weeks later, famously announced on the news. He stares at the inside of the apartment for a bit too long, when he hears someone clear his throat behind him. The red head turns around and is met with a blond with glistening blue eyes and a lanky frame. At first, Michael thinks the boy is cute. But Michael can’t like anybody—but he still thinks he’s cute. Until a few words fall out of the blond’s mouth.

“You’re in my way.” He says coldly, brushing past Michael. He doesn’t notice the blond has a box in his hands until he drops it on top of the other in the doorway.

Michael stands there in awe, staring at the blond’s backside. He turns around to face Michael, cold expression still evident, “You’re staring.”

“Yeah, cause you’re my new neighbor and you’re being rude.”

“How unfortunate for you.” Is all he says, and he’s walking back downstairs.

Michael stares at the boy’s figure disappear down the stairs before walking into his own apartment and shutting the door rather loudly.

 

* * *

 

**December 15, 2007**

**12:33 PM**

 

Lunchtime was Luke’s favorite part of the day. He was able to sit alone in his spot, being under a tree on the field where no one would go because there were ridiculous rumors about that area of the field. Not that it bothered Luke, anyway. He was biting into his peanut butter and jelly sandwich when he seen around five pairs of feet stand in his peripheral vision. He looked up, only to see Tyler and his group of friends standing before him.

“Can I help you?” Luke asked nonchalantly. He packed his sandwich back into his bag as he spoke.

“Yeah, what the fuck was that gift?” Tyler spat. Luke shrugged at his words and took out his homework. An assignment where they had to cut out pieces of Europe and put them in place for Social Studies. Tyler stood his ground though, “Answer me!”

“Saying on your piece of paper that your favorite hobby is skateboarding and your favorite color is red doesn’t give me any ideas as to what I would get you. Hey, the card has some red on it. There, I did something.” Luke explained, starting to cut out England on the map.

Tyler obviously didn’t get the hint that Luke wanted to be left alone, so he kicked Luke’s arm, causing the boy to cut right through the country. Tyler’s friends shared laughter and howling “Ooo’s.” Luke looked up, eyes burning into Tyler’s soul.

“Your present was the worst out of the whole class.” Tyler said smugly, smirking as he crossed his arms. Luke just stared at the boy as he placed his destroyed assignment aside, standing up onto his feet. Tyler kept his eyes on Luke and that stupid smile on his face. Then Luke was raising his arm which held the scissors and his friends immediately took a step back, but Luke kept his eyes on Tyler who was stuck like a deer in the headlights. He held his hands up as if Luke was holding a gun and Luke walked toward the other boy, arm still raised.

“Shit, put that thing down, man!” One of his friends exclaimed.

“I’m getting a teacher!” Another said as they bolted away from the situation.

Luke took a deep breath, blood still brought to a boil, _“What are you doing, Luke?”_ He thought.

“You’re fucking crazy, Hemmings!” Tyler shouted, and that just about did it for Luke.

Blood and screaming. The last thing he remembered was being escorted out of campus and shoved into a cop car.

 

* * *

 

Michael opens his french window and leans his elbows out on the frame. His view isn’t even close to marvelous. There’s another worn out apartment building in front of him with shitty railings and rotting wood around the windows. It looks like a coming-of-age movie taking place in New York was becoming reality. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a cigarette, placing it in between his lips as he looks out at the busy streets below. Lighting up the cigarette, he spots his new neighbor carrying another box from his car and attempting to walk back into the complex when a homeless man comes up to him and says something incoherent, where the blond ignores him with one of his annoyed facial expressions. Michael wonders why the hell he’s unloading his shit by himself.

_“His problem,”_  Michael thinks, and as if on cue, a part of the box that the man was carrying falls apart and various knickknacks and personal items fall out and all over the sidewalk. The homeless man is quick to try and steal the items, but the blond says something that Michael can’t hear and the homeless man scurries away quicker than he’s ever seen someone run in his life. _“Maybe being a good person won’t hurt for once.”_ He thinks again before inhaling another drag and walking out of his apartment. He reaches the lower level and the man is still picking up the remains of the box on the ground.

“Hey, rude neighbor. Need some help?” Michael starts, looking down at the blond who freezes in his place from the sound of his voice.

“No.” He replies simply and resumes picking up his belongings. Michael gets down onto his knees and helps placing things back into the box anyway, and the blond snatches the box closer to his body, “I told you I don’t want any help.”

“You’re charming.”

The blond sarcastically hums in response, picking up the box and starts to walk back inside. He stops in his tracks and looks back at Michael, “There should be a few more boxes left.” He’s walking away, and Michael can feel himself smiling when he gladly reaches into the man's trunk and fishes out another box.

After dropping the last of the blond’s belongings into his empty apartment, Michael sighs with his hands on his hips looking around the spacious living room. The only thing that’s in the room is a worn out couch and the man is sitting on it, reading a newspaper. “What’s that newspaper for?”

The blond looks over the newspaper, “Crosswords.”

Michael finds himself laughing, something he’s never done in a long time, “What’s your name?”

“Why are you asking?” the blond asks, setting the paper down. He’s standing up and walking toward Michael now. Michael stands his ground and smirks.

“Michael Clifford.”

The blond raises one of his eyebrows when Michael holds his hand out, offering a shake. The blond doesn’t shake when he says, “Luke.”

 

* * *

 

**December 16, 2007**

**12:01 AM**

 

Luke’s mom was crying. Luke didn’t even budge. Luke’s brothers looked scared.

“We’re sorry, Ms. Hemmings.” The police officer said, and that made his mother, Liz, cry even harder. She sat up and wiped her eyes.

“Can-Can I just speak with him before you… Take him?” She choked. The officer nodded before exiting out through the front door. Luke sat in the armchair in front of the rest of his family on the couch. His mother sighed, sniffling loudly before she began to speak, “My boy… My sweet, sweet baby boy.” she cooed. Jack put his hand on his mother’s shoulder in a comforting manner, only to make the woman flinch slightly. She placed her hand over his and Luke could see her swallow, “What did I do wrong?” she whispered, “Did I fail you as a mother?”

“You’re a great mother.” Ben tries.

“Then how come Luke hurt another kid!” Liz snapped, startling everybody in the room except Luke, who kept a straight face the entire time. She started crying again, placing both of her hands over his mouth, “Luke, sweetie, why did you do it?” Luke stared at his mother. He licked his lips and blinked. Luke never talked. Every time the teacher said a joke and everyone laughed, Luke was the kid that didn’t laugh. Every time someone invited him to hang out, Luke declined. Luke just wanted to be alone. He was never like his brothers. When the police asked him what he did, Luke didn’t say anything. They asked him, “Did you hurt another student?” and Luke simply nodded.

“Luke Robert Hemmings, answer your mother!” Liz practically screamed, sending in two police officers who stood on either side of Luke.

“Ms. Hemmings, we’ll be taking him now.” One of the officers said, and they bother grabbed Luke by either arms. Liz was begging them not to take him away, but Ben and Jack kept whispering, “It’s for the best.” and “We can always go visit him.”

Luke was escorted out of his home only to see his neighbors watching him, women in their robes and slippers and children trying to stretch their necks and see. Luke just kept a straight face the whole time, letting the officers walk him down his porch. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion for Luke. He looked to his left to see a few kids on their bikes, and he could recognize one of them as his Secret Santa. Calum was his name. His lips were slightly parted as he gripped the handles of his bike, eyes following Luke’s. Luke looked to the right, seeing his neighbor he’s known since he was small. The middle aged woman had her hand over her mouth and she sent questioning looks. Finally Luke twisted his head to look behind him, the police officers yanking him so he could look forward. His family was standing on the porch, his mother a crying mess and his brothers comforting her. Liz went to reach her hand out when Luke held his gaze on his mother, but the cops forcefully pushed him into the backseat of the car. They shut the door and when they turn on the ignition, Luke looked out the window to see his home fade away up the street, his childhood coming to an end.

 

* * *

 

Michael is smiling again, only it’s forced. Tonights the night, or more appropriate, one of those nights. The club is pulsing and the bass is pounding against Michael’s head. He heads to the bar and sees a man with black hair and a mysterious look on his face, but he’s already looking at Michael. He takes a seat a few feet away from the mystery man and orders a drink, sending a wink to the guy in the process. He sees him starting to walk over and Michael smirks in victory.

“Hey,” he starts, hand already trailing along Michael’s back.

Michael flashes a seductive smile, “Hey. You come here with anyone?”

“Just me myself and I,” he says, looking at Michael up and down and nodding in approval.

The red head hums as he sips on his drink, “You come here to dance?”

The man is trailing his hand farther down Michael’s back, “We could, but I have other things in mind.”

_“Got him,”_  Michael thinks, then sends a suggestive look to the man as he pays the bartender and ushers the other man to the bathrooms. When they walk in, eager and hand in hand, there’s already moans coming from the stalls. The man begins kissing Michael’s neck, and the red head lets out a fake moan when he pushes one of the stalls opens and locks it frantically, eager to get his hands on the other man. The other man goes to undo Michael’s pants, and he’s running his hands through his black hair. Michael is leaning his head against the graffiti infested wall, eyes closed as he feels the other man grab his hardened cock. He hisses when the man begins to pump him a few times before diving in and pushing the red head’s length straight down his throat. Michael’s eyes nearly pop out of his head and he fucks the other man’s mouth. The man is looking up at Michael through his eyelashes, and Michael pretends to show interest. The man buys it and digs his hands into Michael’s pale hips, he was sure there would be bruises the next morning.

Michael is close to his climax when he pushes the other man off, taking him by surprise. Both men are panting when Michael drags him up to eye level. He pulls his pants up and he leans in close to the other man’s ear, “We can take this back to my place if you’re down?” And the other man nods eagerly when Michael cups his hand over the man’s clothed cock.

They take an Uber back to Michael’s place, and the other man seems more tipsy than Michael, who had only one drink. The man tries to walk straight but fails, not only because of the alcohol but because of how desperate he was to get in Michael’s pants. Michael is fumbling with his keys as the man is kissing up and down the red head's neck. When he finally opens the door, they stumble inside and the man has Michael pinned to the now closed door.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot,” he mutters out, forcing Michael to take off his shirt. Michael obeys and throws his shirt off somewhere in his messy apartment. Michael leads them to the bedroom, and before he can push the man onto the bed, Michael leans in and whispers, “Close your eyes, baby.”

When the man smiles excitedly, he closes his eyes and waits for Michael’s touch. He takes off the other man’s clothes completely and tosses it to the side. The red head is reaching into  his bedside table, taking out a blindfold and placing it over the other man’s eyes.

“I like where this is going.” The man practically moans, making grabby hands to find the other man. What caught the other man by surprise was to also feel handcuffs. The man tenses up slightly.

“You look so good like this,” Michael assures, making the man relax a little.

“You’re into this type of stuff?” He asks, and Michael only hums. Suddenly Michael finally, and forcefully pushes the man down onto the bed, which is covered in some type of wrap. The cuffed and blindfolded man on the bed is furrowing his brows, and before he could say anything, Michael is taping his mouth shut with duct tape. The man begins to throw himself around like a helpless little bitch, and Michael laughs darkly.

“Love the way you look, sweetie,” he mumbles, crawling over the man, “You look so vulnerable for me.” The man can tell something is wrong, and he’s trying to express it, but Michael is too strong and the duct tape isn’t letting him speak out. Then there’s tears in his eyes when Michael places a single kiss on his cheek, “Don’t worry, now. Shh,” he whispers, and then there’s sobbing coming from the other man, “You’re gonna be fine, sweetheart.” As he speaks, Michael pulls out a small pocketknife and lets it glide over the man’s bare stomach. The man huffs and shivers under the cold metal, shaking in fear. Michael is smiling genuinely, leaning in close to his ear, “You scared? You don’t want to play with me, baby?”

The man is sobbing again, and Michael clicks his tongue, “That won’t do,” he whispers, and Michael begins to work the sharp object into the man’s skin. He goes slow, and the man is trying to scream at the top of his lungs through the duct tape. Michael rolls his eyes as a shiver runs down his spine and he takes one of his pillows and places it over the man’s head, leaning himself over it as the screams turn into muffled nothings.

By the end of it, there’s blood everywhere, and Michael wraps the man up in the plastic that covered his bed before. Sighing, he takes out a cigarette and lights it up, opening his French window just a tad before walking back to his mess.

“I hate this part.” He mutters, taking a drag of his cigarette, “So messy.”

Michael heads into bathroom, dragging the body with him. He lets the cold water run until it's up to a fair amount, and he places the body in the tub before closing the curtains and keeping the air filter on. Getting the stink out would be a bitch too.

He grabs his tools from under his kitchen cabinet and heads back to the bathroom, putting on a plastic suit over himself and a mask that would hopefully keep the stink from getting to him. And so Michael begins. He makes sure to cut the man up into tiny pieces and lets the blood drain out. The remains of what was a man, looked like nothing at all. That’s what humans were to Michael. Nothing at all.

 

Once every part and limb is in a black plastic bags and Michael is sure he’s clean from any blood on his body, Michael carries both of the bags over his shoulder and is sure to lock his apartment before he leaves. What catches him by surprise is to see Luke leaning against his door, arms crossed, and a smirk on his face. Michael turns pale and stops dead in his tracks, “Oh. Hey, Luke.”

“Hey, Michael Clifford,” Luke says, “Heard you having a good time in there. It kept me up. Was about to go and complain.”

“Oh,” Michael chuckles nervously. Surely the noise part is taken care of, “Well don’t worry about that.”

“What are you doing now?” The blond man asks, staring through Michael’s soul. He’s never in his life been creeped out by anyone who wasn’t himself.

Michael gestures toward the trash bags over his shoulders, “Taking out the trash. Tomorrow’s trash day.”

“Hm, is it?” Luke asks, raising his eyebrows. He actually looked interested in the conversation, and Michael chuckles genuinely. He never noticed before that Luke has freckles along his nose and that his eyes were that strikingly blue, but that's not the issue here. Luke could possibly find out his deepest and darkest secret.

“W-well, I gotta get going. You enjoy the rest of your night, Luke.” Michael stammers. And Luke doesn’t say anything, he just simply waves and watches Michael struggle walking down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

**April 8, 2009**

**1:24 PM**

 

Luke sat in his bunk with a newspaper, trying to figure out the next crossword.  _What the hell is 13 Down?_   What startled him out of his mojo was a group of kids walking past his bunker, laughing loudly at something. Luke flinched slightly before placing his crossword back down onto his bed and standing up. One of the guards popped his head into Luke’s bunk just in time, “Hemmings! Your shift out in the garden starts in five minutes. What are you doing in here?” He sneers. Luke doesn’t say anything as he walks past the man and heads straight to his job.

His job was gardening in the green house. He specifically requested this job because it involved no human interaction, plus it was just himself and nature. Luke was good at gardening, and everyone depended on him for fresh produce. Well, the fresh produce that wasn’t transported to the prison. Luke always thought it was funny how the guards and the warden said it was Juvenile Hall, when that’s just a sorry excuse for the children’s parents to let them know that it's real prison. Although it wasn’t called prison, the inmates were still locked up and told to do jobs during the day other than school. School was in the morning, work was in the night, then there’s showers, dinner, and bedtime. That was Luke’s routine for the rest of his teenage years. Hopefully Luke would get released early since he’s been a good kid with a clean record and good grades. The only thing he lacking was his therapy. They advised him to go to speech therapy, but Luke just refused to try. That’s what extended Luke’s time in juvy.

Luke’s job required for him to plant new crops everyday and keep them in the greenhouse before they get larger, then at an appropriate time he’d have to transfer them outside. He loved the smell of soil and the peace and quiet, aside from the yelling coming from outside from other teenage boys. Luke was thirteen at the time, one of the few youngest in the whole prison. Everyone knew this, so Luke was an easy target since he never talked. Luke could safely say this was the worst day of his life, and he knew it was going to be when the door to the greenhouse opened, and the group of boys quietly made their way over. He could hear the door shut, and the pit pattering of footsteps coming closer. Luke shuddered when he could feel someone’s hot breath on his ear, “Well what are you waiting for? Get to work.”

Luke didn’t say anything, as always, he just continued shoveling soil and fertilizer into a pot while planting seeds. He tried to ignore the boy’s whispers and slight laughter, but it just got louder and louder in Luke’s head and he finds himself dropping the shovel and making a run for it, but unfortunately its one against six, and two of them grab Luke’s arms and shove him against the table, pining him down. His cheek was being pushed against the dirty table top and he began to pant. He didn’t want to look at either of their faces. But he had to, because they were all right there, looking at him like he was a helpless puppy. They had tattoos on their faces and buzzcuts, and it was fucking terrifying to Luke. Behind him he could feel Antonio, their gang’s leader press himself up against Luke’s back. The younger boy shuddered. Antonio and his men were known for stirring up most of the trouble in the prison, he was positive this group of kids had the most shots combined out of everyone there. They were at least fifteen years old and up. Antonio came from a rough life. He was in for killing a man, and he grew up in the shittiest part in town. His parents were shitty, his whole family was shitty, where he lived was shitty, and the people around him were shitty. That’s what Antonio was known for, but he holds this prison under his sleeve like it’s his bitch. Once he was going to get out of Juvy, they would transfer him to a real prison.

Luke didn’t realize he was crying when he noticed his nose was clogged up and his vision was blurred. “Shit, he’s crying.”

“Because he’s a little bitch. He’s our little bitch.” Antonio said.

“Are you sure we want to do this?”

“Yes, you pussy!”

“I haven’t gotten off in weeks.”

“Me too.”

“Me three.”

Luke was trembling, shutting his eyes as tightly as he could. “Why are we picking on the little white kid? What about that kid that likes dick in the electricity department?”

“He’s no fun. That slut probably has a shit ton of diseases in him.” Antonio muttered, and Luke felt the guy lean into him again, “Besides, it'll be fun. Think about how tight this one is. You gotta think about the bright side of things.”

There was hesitation in the air as Luke trembled and let out several shaky breaths, but then one of the guys shoved their pants down and shrugged, “Fuck it.”

Another kid did the same and it came to a point where everyone’s pants were down, and soon enough Luke’s were as well. The younger boy let out a sob, and he didn’t bother to break free. It was no use. This is when Luke realized that escaping didn’t matter. “We’re gonna make you feel real good, Hemmings.” Antonio whispered, his words burning into Luke’s brain.

In the end it didn’t feel good. The pain got so bad to the point where Luke started screaming, but after he even dared to let one sound escape his mouth, someone covered his mouth the rest of the time. By the time it was over, Luke was left on the ground shaking. He was sure he was bleeding, and his bottom was in tremendous pain. He could feel the bruises on his wrists and neck, anywhere they held him. The memory would be burnt into his skin for days. It didn’t matter. He didn’t matter.

He was found after his shift was over, hours later, by an inmate who was wandering around. Luke never knew his name. The inmate gasped at the sight and looked around frantically for an explanation.

“Uh, fuck… Umm,” he stammered, rushing over to Luke. He placed his hand on the boy’s arm, and Luke flinched from his touch, “H-hold on, I’ll get some help.. Um…” he trailed off, not knowing the younger boy’s name. He looked around and saw Luke’s shirt thrown carelessly somewhere and picked up his name tag, “…Hemmings. Um… O-Okay, okay, wait here.” He ran out fast and several minutes later he returned with three guards that cursed under their breath when they seen the sight.

“Shit, get the kid to medical. Why wasn’t there a guard in here watching him? Who was supposed to be on duty?” A guard babbled on as the other two guards helped to get Luke up to his feet. Laying there with dried tears on his face and a runny nose, Luke realized that the system was corrupted. And he realized nothing mattered. Nothing.

 

* * *

 

The salt water makes Michael’s skin sticky and his nose run. He’s guiding the boat far into the water where no one could even see him. He lets out a sigh as he picks up the bags and tosses them into the ocean, watching them sink down until there’s no sight of them anymore. He clicks his tongue and lights another cigarette before guiding the boat back to the harbor. He expects a missing persons report the next day.

 

The next morning Michael decides to treat himself with a nice little breakfast, being some eggs and some bread with a side of fruit. He pours some orange juice into a cup and smiles to himself when he turns on the TV. He settles on an old cartoon with a cat and a mouse and he hums when he realizes it’s Tom & Jerry. His thoughts wander for a few minutes as he finishes his meal and his happy mood darkens when he realizes he needs to pay for a fucking parking ticket. Cursing, Michael carelessly throws his dishes into the sink and shuts the TV off. He’s jogging out of his apartment in a rush.

 

When Michael gets back, he’s standing in front of his door while digging in his pockets. He realizes he doesn’t have his keys and he mutters profanities while sitting on the floor and against the door. About thirty minutes pass and he spots Luke walking down the hallway with groceries in his hands. Luke doesn’t take Michael’s existence in consideration as he’s unlocking his own door.

“Hey, wanna help me break into my apartment?” Michael asks.

Luke doesn’t even turn to look at him when he replies, “Not really. Your problem for being careless.”

Michael rolls his eyes and taps a drum beat on his thighs in frustration, “Please? I was in a rush.”

“I moved here to have some peace and quiet but instead I’m dealing with you. People like you are the reason why I moved.” Luke says coldly before walking into his apartment and shutting the door.

The red head is frustrated, but amused at how the younger boy responds. Still, he groans loudly, looks up at his door handle, and punches it as if it would do anything. Instead, it just hurt his fist. He winces and regrets his decision, but a minute later Luke’s door opens and he’s walking out with a paper clip thats been tinkered with.

“Move,” Is all Luke says, and Michael scoots over as he watches Luke get onto his knees and pick the lock. Michael watches as Luke’s tongue sticks out of his mouth slightly from concentration. The blond bats his eyelashes and squints, then seconds later there's a “click” and Luke pushes the door open. Michael doesn’t get up from his spot as he stares at the boy in awe. “Am I done here?”

“Can I, like, take you out to dinner sometime?” Michael finds himself asking, and he freezes, because Michael doesn’t fucking date.

Luke stares at Michael blankly, and the red head feels himself getting jittery. Luke doesn’t break his gaze, though, no matter how much he sees Michael shaking slightly from anxiety. It’s almost funny to him, and he enjoys seeing Michael crumble underneath him, “I don’t know,” Luke replies, lips pressed in a thin line, “I don’t let people into my life.”

“I don’t either,” Michael is quick to reply, “I-I don’t date.”

“It doesn’t have to be a date then.” Luke shrugs, “I don’t do relationships.”

Michael feels a pang in his chest. It wasn’t anything he’d expect, since Michael has absolutely no feelings toward anyone and because he doesn’t date. But something about Luke just gets the red head going and it hurts to hear that the blond shuts everyone out. But instead of pouring his heart out, Michael nods understandably, “Tonight at eight?”

Luke nods and simply walks into his apartment, shutting the door behind him. Michael is still on the ground, leaning against the wall next to his opened apartment. Regrettably, Michael finds himself with a smile stretching from ear to ear.

 

* * *

 

**April 9, 2009**

**3:04 PM**

 

Luke hated visiting days. He hated seeing his family. He knew they didn’t like him. He knew that he was their least favorite. But the reason why they were visiting wasn’t just to check up on how he was doing—he was sat in the therapist’s chair, and he could see Jack, Ben, and his mother watching through the window. His mom was crying, honestly when the hell wasn’t she? Ben and Jack looked horrified.

Tear tracks were dried up on Luke’s face, he never bothered to shower after the incident with Antonio, even though he should have. He could get an infection. But also Luke was disgusted. He didn’t even want to touch his own skin after what happened. He was also afraid of taking a shower, being surrounded by other naked boys, and being one of the youngest in Juvy, Luke was weak.

“Mr. Hemmings, we need to talk about what happened.” His therapist, Dr. Morgan said. Her glasses were perked onto the peek of her nose, and there was a chain connected to both ends to prevent it from sliding away from her body. Her clipboard was attached with Luke’s file and a notepad. Luke shook his head, bringing his legs up onto the chair and hugging them. Luke was so small. He felt so small. Dr. Morgan sighed and placed the clipboard down onto her lap to take a sip of her tea. She placed the mug down, the porcelain making a small ‘clank’ sound against the glass side table.

The room was white with wooden floors, and there were only a few paintings on the wall. In between them was a coffee table with a small house plant along with a candle. Their way of making the patients feel comfortable was a complete failure. “You need to talk, Mr. Hemmings.”

“What is there to talk about?” Luke snapped, surprising the older woman. She was about in her late forties and the wrinkles on her face were starting to show.

“What happened-“

“I got raped. What else is there to say?” Luke snapped again. He let out a shaky breath. Luke never talked during their sessions. It was probably the fifth time Luke has ever said anything to her, for the past couple years he’s been in Juvenile Hall.

“There’s a lot you can say about the situation,” Dr. Morgan replied in a calm tone. Silence grew between them and all that was heard in the room was the therapist’s pen scribbling words into her notebook. She put the pen down and lay her eyes on the young boy, “Tell me how you felt before. What were you doing before?”

Luke furrowed his brows and trembled, “I was working. Doing my job. Gardening in the greenhouse. Everything was normal. It was peaceful.”

Dr. Morgan nodded, scribbling more words down, “There was no guard on duty, yes?”

“Usually there would be.” Luke said. Anger grew into the pit of his stomach, so intense that tears welled up into his eyes, “If the guard was there, none of this would have happened, right?”

Luke heard Dr. Morgan hum, “Sexual harassment could happen anywhere-”

“But in this case,” Luke interrupted, eyes wide, searching for an answer, “I wouldn’t have gotten raped if the guard was there.”

Dr. Morgan licked her lips and looked down at her notebook, “I suppose you wouldn’t have.”

“Fire him,” Luke demanded, “Fire the guard that was supposed to be on duty.”

“I’m not in the position to do so, Mr. Hemmings-“

“I don’t fucking care!” Luke screamed, letting his legs fall back onto the ground. From the corner of his eye he could see his mother jump along with his brothers. Luke let out another shaky sigh, closing his eyes and opening them seconds after. With a much calmer tone, he added, “I don’t care. I want him out.”

“I'm sure they’re already looking into that.” she assured, a small smile on her face, “Relax, Mr. Hemmings.” Luke wanted to punch something for how calm she was being about the whole situation. But he obeyed, he sat back and instead of pulling his legs up to his chest, he hugged a pillow, squeezing it as hard as he could to drown the voices in his head telling him to do something he would regret later.

“I can see you’re tense.” Dr. Morgan said.

“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?” Luke asked harshly.

“I understand,” she replied, writing more words down. She cleared her throat, “How do you feel now?”

Luke stared blankly at the woman in front of him. His grip onto the pillow got tighter, “Why are you asking me this?”

“I need to know so I can find a way to help you,”

“I can’t be helped. Nothing matters.”

“You do matter, Mr. Hemmings.”

“It’s Luke. Don’t call me that. It reminds me of my dad.”

“Okay, Luke,” she carried on, sitting up straighter in her chair, “You do matter, Luke. You’ve made mistakes and I know you want to get out of here. Your record is clean and that’s better than anybody here. Now, we need to get through this session. I can see we’re getting somewhere. This is a big step from our last one!”

“Whooptie doo,” Luke muttered, biting the insides of his cheeks.

“Talk to me, Luke,” she repeated, “How are you feeling?”

The young boy, felt dizzy by thinking of the memories. They were still clear in his mind. Everything happened and he was rushed to medical, they did tests and found no trace of disease, thank God, and they let Luke go. Just like that, “I feel useless.”

“How so?”

“Nothing matters.” He stated.

Dr. Morgan sighed, “Luke, you do-“

“But I don’t,” Luke interrupted, finally meeting eyes with her, “If I did matter, why did it happen to me? Why am I here? Why-why are we just little specks of dust in the universe? We’re smaller than particles and cells. Do any of us matter? And those who are famous and successful, they don’t matter either, but what does that say for the people who get the worst things in life? What is more than not mattering? What…What does that say about people like me? The unfortunate?” Dr. Morgan continued to write vigorously in her notebook, “The people who get worse than the celebrities and successful—that means I  _extra-don’t-matter._  If there  _is_  a fucking God, that my family believes in, why does he let the bad things happen to me?”

Luke didn’t realize his family was listening to every word he was saying, because not only was his mother crying, but his brothers as well. Luke felt his face go tomato red from pouring his heart out and letting his family hear it all, but also red in anger and stress and everything in between. Luke felt overwhelmed.

“I think that’s enough for today. Why don’t you get some rest?” Dr. Morgan suggested, and Luke found himself heaving from his speech. Luke just nodded, as if he went back to his regular self. He stood up and two guards came in to escort him out. When they opened the doors, he heard Ben mutter, “Holy shit,”

Luke glared at him with eyes that almost looked sympathetic, like a cry for help, as he was dragged away from his family. He felt dizzy and light headed when he heard Dr. Morgan ushering the Hemmings Family inside the therapy room.

 

* * *

 

 The pair are sat at a diner that serves milkshakes and greasy fries. Luke hasn’t really said anything and Michael tries to make conversation, “So, um… What do you do?”

Luke looks up from the menu to glance at Michael, “Oh, I’m unemployed.”

Michael raises his eyebrows, “Unemployed? Do you need a job?”

The blond shakes his head and points at a picture of a shake, “I think I’m going to get a strawberry shake.”

Michael nods and forces a smile at the younger boy. He figures that Luke doesn’t want to talk about it and he doesn’t push it, which is the right choice. “You’ve got a sweet tooth, eh?” Michael banters, and the corners of Luke’s mouth twitch slightly before returning back to a straight line.

“I guess so.” He replies with a shrug.

Michael is silent after the waitress comes over and asks what they want for drinks, where Luke replies that he wants the strawberry shake and Michael says he wants the Oreo. When they get the shakes only a minutes later, they’re both sucking on the straws lamely. Luke makes a disgusted face at his, and Michael perks up, “What’s up?”

“It’s not very good.” Luke mumbles, pushing it forward.

Michael starts to sweat but he recovers, “Let me try it,” and he pulls the glass and sips it through the straw where Luke’s mouth just was. Michael clicks his tongue and shrugs, “It’s really good. I don’t like mine.” Michael pushes his away, more hauntingly toward Luke. The younger boy is eyeing the milkshake quite intensely and Michael chuckles, “You want to try it?”

Luke is quick to nod and he pulls the beverage toward him and sips through the straw. His eyes widen with delight as he practically downs the rest of Michael’s milkshake. Michael is laughing, throwing his head back and Luke can’t help but smile too, and holy shit, Luke’s smile is beautiful. His teeth are perfectly aligned and there’s a small spot on one of his front teeth thats a bit lighter than the rest. Luke notices Michael staring fondly and he clears his throat, seriousness replacing his angelic features. Michael then stops too, shifting awkwardly in between the sticky booth.

“Um,” Michael starts, looking down at the menu to find a distraction. He looks up at Luke, who is already looking at him and blurts out, “Why did you agree to come?”

Luke furrows his eyebrows and licks his lips quickly, “You helped me unpack my things after I was rude to you. If anything, I’ve always been rude to you. I’m working on that.”

Michael nods, and he’s not sure if he understands fully, “You know, I always thought it’s better to talk about things with someone you barley know.”

“Not happening.” Luke says rather quickly. Before Michael can say anything else, the waitress is back and is taking their orders. Luke just orders fries, and Michael orders a whole meal, and Luke regrets his decision because he’s been living off of instant noodles for the past few days so he asks Michael for half of his burger, and Michael—strangely—happily gives it to him.

 

* * *

 

**April 14, 2009**

**4:23 PM**

 

Luke laid in his bunk, curled up in his blanket. No one noticed that he wasn’t up doing his everyday routine. He never picked up his newspaper from the bins next to the prison commissary, he never attended his job in the greenhouse. When his bunk buddy smelled how awful Luke was, he complained a guard and they forced him into the showers. All the boys looked at him and laughed. He got shoved around a few times, until he found a hiding spot in the library. He hid there for the rest of the time. He got summon slips from Dr. Morgan but he refused to go. He even refused visitors. Everyone was at dinner and it was still visiting hours. Everyone was in the cafeteria but Luke was in his bunk. He hadn’t eaten either. The scariest thing is that he never saw Antonio or his gang since the day of the incident. He was too scared shitless to even think about them. They haunted his thoughts twenty-four hours and seven days a week.

“Hemmings, get out there and eat!” A guard shouted when he walked by and noticed the younger boy still in his bunk. Luke trembled from the loud voice and only sunk deeper into the blankets. Second later the blanket was torn off his body and he was exposed. His skin was paler and he had dark circles under his eyes. His hair was messy and greasy, and he probably reeked. The guard gave the boy a disgusted look, “You’ve got visitors, so eat your food and get to the visit room.” Luke didn’t move, he stayed still and tried to focus on his breathing, It was interrupted by the guard’s threat, “Hemmings, I swear, if you don’t move right now, you’re getting a shot.”

The young boy was quick to jump from his spot and run to the visiting room. He was out of breath when he opened the door to see Jack sitting there alone. Jack was sixteen at the time, his hands fumbling helplessly over the table. Jack never came by himself, he was always with Ben or his mother. Luke cautiously walked over and Jack looked up, eyes widened.

“Luke,” he started, and he took a seat in front of his older brother, “I missed you.” Silent treatment. It was what Luke was good at. He didn’t make eye contact with his brother, he just stared at the mahogany table between them, “Um, so you got diagnosed with depression.”

It was Luke’s turn to look up at his brother with a confused look. “What?” Luke croaked, probably for not speaking for days.

“Y-you… They didn’t tell you?” Jack asked, shocked. Luke shook his head, fists clenched. “Oh… They called and said that you’d get medication.”

“They think I’m depressed?” Luke said softly, he was surprised Jack could even hear him.

Jack nodded, “Yeah, your therapist told us after your session with her,” he explained, then his face went pale, “Luke, fuck, you’ve been through so much. I’m sorry about… What happened. I don’t even know what to say about it. I’ll kill the guys if I have to.”

“You don’t want to do that,” Luke mumbled, “They’re strong.”

“I didn’t mean it literally. I know I can’t kill them. I’ll end up in jail,” Jack snorted, but stopped immediately when he realized how inappropriate the joke was, considering Luke was in Juvenile Hall, “Shit, I’m sorry! I wasn’t—“

Luke let out a fond snicker and shook his head. It had been years since he smiled, “I missed that about you.”

Jack froze and laughed nervously, eyes looking hopeful, “You missed me?” And Luke nodded, still smiling, “Man, I always thought you hated me.”

“Why is that?”

“You’re so quiet, Luke. You never made friends and you’d be so… Introverted. You’re not like Ben and I. Every time we tried to include you into something, you turned away. That Calum kid that lives down the street? He always asked Ben and I while we were playing rugby if you wanted to play with him. You always turned away from him, too. And-and, you know, every time I would come to your room you would always tell me to go away. I mean, Ben does that too, but you never communicate with us. I don’t know if it’s from when dad divorced mom, but of course you were too young to even understand what was happening…” Jack’s explanation left Luke with a blank face. His smile was completely faded.

“H-hey, Jack?” Luke started, eyes focused on a speck on the mahogany table.

“Yeah, little dude?”

“I think you should leave.”

Jack’s face went pale again and Luke could see the panic in his features from the corner of his eye, "Oh my god, did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Luke lied, “I just need to take my meds.”

“Oh… Oh, yeah. Sure, Luke. You do that. Anything to get you out of here early.” Jack nodded, stepping out of his chair and clearing his throat. Luke followed after. He was about five inches shorter than Jack. His brother bent down slightly to Luke’s level, “I promise you, I’d bust you out of here if I could. When you do eventually get out, little brother, I’ll get you a fake ID and we can buy a bunch of beer and just get shitfaced. Wouldn’t that be nice? Brother bonding.” Luke simply nodded. When Jack realized he wasn’t going to get a response out of Luke, he brought the boy in for a quick hug before getting separated by a guard that shouted ‘No hugging!’ Luke was being escorted out of the room when Jack stood in his place, waving at the younger boy, “I’ll see you soon, Luke!”

 

The first thing Luke did when he was brought back to the main hallway, he stomped to the therapy room. He made it to the glass door, banging on it obnoxiously. When it opened to reveal Dr. Morgan, she smiled sweetly at the boy but what she didn’t expect was to see Luke plop himself into the patient chair. She gave the younger boy a confused look before sitting in her own seat. She reached down into the file cabinet under the side table and pulled out Luke’s files, “You finally decided to show up.”

“Yeah. I guess today is just full of surprises.” Luke muttered.

“What do you mean by that, Luke?” She asked, clicking her pen.

“I was surprised to find out I got diagnosed with depression. By my brother.”

Dr. Morgan sighed, “Of course,” she said softly, scribbling, “That means you’ll be on medication. Everyday, every four hours you will take a tablet. I already assigned a guard to give you the amount of medication prescribed, that way, as a depressed patient, you won’t be tempted to take more than you’re supposed to. Any questions?”

“Side effects?”

“None, hopefully an increase in your positivity. That’s what they’re there for, right?” She offered Luke a smile, but Luke wasn’t taking anything from her. Luke just wanted the world to swallow him whole, so he can just live in the fiery depths of hell where he believed he belonged.

 

* * *

 

Life for Michael was getting more and more difficult. Specifically because he was falling hard for a certain blond boy that lived across from him. He needed to do anything to distract him. Two weeks passed since he went out with Luke for dinner, and the two just became closer and closer with their bantering. It was Luke’s mysterious aura that lured Michael in, he didn’t know why he was so caught up in liking someone so… unlikable. There were small things that Luke told Michael, things like Luke having no friends when he was younger and how he was never close to any of his family. What Michael thought was strangely sexy was how Luke would insult Michael, scoff at how stupid he’s being and over all the general persona of Luke Hemmings. Michael didn’t know what to say about himself. ‘Hey, Luke one of the best ways that I deal with anger and my problems in general is literally slitting people’s throats and dumping their bodies into the ocean.’

Michael needed ways to distract himself, because Michael does  _not_  do relationships. He’s afraid he’ll grow attached, and once that person leaves them, he’s forced to kill them. He’s dangerous and he knows it, and he tries his best to fit in but his mind keeps turning back to killing someone innocent and fooling them into some really great sex, only to find out they’re getting off by a fucking psycho killer. Not that it bothered Michael during the bloody mess anyway.

Michael has a cute, skinny brown haired boy with him tonight. His skin is pale and his cheeks are rosy, and Michael has to admit that he’s one of the cutest boys he’s ever seen. Their kissing is getting heated and this time the plastic isn’t on Michael’s bed. The brown haired boy is moaning against Michael’s touch as he palms him through his boxers. The open French window exposes the moon’s sunlight against his skin and he looks ethereal. Too bad it has to go to waste. Michael guides them to the bathroom and the brown haired boy is trying to leave marks on Michael’s milky white skin, so the older boy hisses and nuzzles his nose against the boy’s temple. The brown haired boy understands as he gets onto his knees. He tugs down Michael’s pants as Michael leans over the bathtub and starts to run the water. The other boy’s mouth is already sloppily engulfing Michael’s hardened dick, and the older boy can’t help but lean against the wall and close his eyes to imagine pink lips and blond hair instead. He finds himself moaning, and no, this isn’t what Michael’s task is tonight. Michael’s task is to kill. He shoves the boy off his dick and convinces him that he just wants to fuck him to get himself off instead, and the boy nods eagerly before stripping completely and stepping into the tub. When Michael is about to hop in as well, he has a devilish smirk on his face but his face goes even paler than it originally is when he hears his buzzer go off. He curses and apologizes to the boy, who rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath.

Michael’s heart is beating fast because who the fuck would arrive at his house at one in the morning? Then he hears it.

“Michael? It’s Luke.”

_Shit._

Michael is panicking now, he’s heaving uncontrollably and looks around his apartment helplessly. He chokes on his words as he yells back, “Luke? Uh, just a minute!” Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Michael is running back into the bathroom, dick out and everything. He’s struggling to breathe when he sees the brown haired boy sitting in the bathtub, looking at him with confused eyes, and fuck, Michael just wants to suffocate him right there—

“Is something wrong?” He asks.

Michael is struggling to speak again, his voice coming out hoarse and panicky, “You need to get out, like, right fucking now.”

“Excuse me?” he replies, standing up from the tub.

“Get out of my fucking apartment! Outside of my window there’s a fire ramp and you need to take that. Can you please do that for me, sweetheart?” Michael explains in the most desperate tone. It seems the young boy relaxes under his voice and swells at the pet name, and he’s nodding and quickly putting his clothes back on. Michael practically shoves the boy out his window as fast as he can then shuts the French windows and locks them after. He finds some dirty boxers on the ground and slips them on anyway and he’s running to the door to find Luke in his pajamas. He has his pillow in his hand, along with a small duffel bag.

“Hey, Luke,” Michael tries to say casually as he leans against the doorframe.

“I need to sleep here for a couple of nights. The landlord kicked me out like, ten minutes ago to fix some weird fungus growth all over the corners.” Luke says lamely, shrugging and rolling his eyes as he explains. Michael wouldn’t be surprised if he popped a boner right then and there. What he doesn’t process is Luke’s words, and suddenly he can feel his blood run cold and his stomach filled with something he’s never felt before. Maybe he just needs to take a massive shit.

“Y-yeah, that’s fine. That’s fine, yeah.” Michael nods, letting out an audible gulp. He moves aside so Luke can walk in. He’s looking around the apartment, and honestly the place isn’t even nice at all. There’s really no place for Luke to sleep since theres only an armchair in the living room rather than an actual couch. Michael’s face turns cherry red when he realizes this.

“Where should I…” Luke trails off, turning around to look at Michael was that mesmerizing blank face of his.

“Oh um… I hope you don’t mind my bed. Like, nothing weird or anything like that. I just don’t have visitors that often and it’s usually just me. I’m solo for basically everything. That’s why my couch… isn’t a couch.” Michael explains fast and awkwardly. He’s never been so insecure in his life. Luke, however, just shrugs and walks into Michael’s bedroom, seemingly knowing where it is because all the apartments have the same models. Luke plops onto the bed and sinks himself under the covers without a word, and Michael stares for a solid minute. He didn’t mean to be creepy, but his fucking crush is sleeping in his bed.

“Are you coming in or not?” He hears Luke’s voice peep. Michael feels like a fucking freak.

“Um, sorry. I need to, uh, brush my teeth first.” Michael stammers before rushing into his bathroom. He shuts the door rather loudly and locks it, throwing his whole upper body over the sink. He curses under his breath and covers his face with his hands. He looks up at himself in the mirror and sees nothing but a monster. Michael has dark circles under his eyes from never sleeping enough these days, and his scruff is growing in. His eyes look more shadowy than usual and his lips look like they’ve got their color sucked out of them. Michael hates himself for who he is, for allowing a cute blond boy with a mysterious personality, Michael’s absolute weakness, to take him over like this.

He quickly brushes his teeth and plays around with his hair, which his completely pointless considering he’s just going to wake up with bed head anyway. He opens the door and heads back to his bedroom to find Luke sound asleep under his covers. Michael tries not to smile fondly at the sight before sliding into the sheets as well. They keep their distance, but Michael can feel Luke’s breath on his neck since it’s only a full sized bed.

He’s about to drift into content sleep before he hears Luke’s soft and utterly exhausted voice say, “You’re a bit loud some nights, yeah? Keeps me up sometimes.”

Michael freezes, he’s pretty sure he stopped breathing, but he pretends he’s fast asleep and maybe he’s successful with his acting skills because he feels Luke press himself up against’s Michael’s body to snuggle for warmth.

 

* * *

 

**November 5, 2014**

**6:45 PM**

 

When Luke got released from Juvy he was given his clothes that he grew out of and his shoes that were two sizes too small. Instead he was wearing someone else’s shirt and jeans. His shirt had a Metallica logo and his jeans were worn and torn. His shoes were just flip flops, nothing special about them. At least they fit.

He was waiting for his ride to come, but no one showed up. The prison said that they called his mother and she replied that she’d be on her way, but Luke had been sitting on the bench in front of Juvy for hours. He was actually contemplating on walking back inside, but he was eighteen now and too old for the place. Luke was completely different. After the meds he took over the years he became lifeless. The color was sucked out of his eyes and his lips were dehydrated, he sworn he got paler, if that’s even possible, and his cheeks were hollow from refusing to eat most of the time. In his hand he held a bag with his prescription antidepressants. He couldn’t wait to just discard them when he got home.

“Hey, is your ride coming?” A guard asked, approaching the boy. Luke shrugged and looked up and down the street. There were no cars in sight, “She said she’d get you three hours ago.”

“My house is only fifteen minutes away from here.” Luke said softly. He had never seen his mom in years. The visits gradually came to an end and soon Luke never got a summon slip ever again. The last time he saw her was on his sixteenth birthday. 

“We can call a cab for you. Wait here.”

The guard was gone and then minutes later a taxi showed up in front of Luke. He hopped in and gave the man his address to his home. Home. Luke never said that word out loud in years, and boy did it feel good saying it and actually knowing that he was going to go there. The taxi pulled up in front of Luke’s home, everything looked slightly different. He noticed a large tree he used to climb in was gone, and he noticed there were flowers in the front of the house. He payed the cab driver with the little money he had on him and he drove away, leaving Luke in front of his house on the sidewalk. He felt his stomach do backflips and he remembered the amazing stir-fry is mom would always make, and he remembered the cookies she would make from scratch. Every time she served them to Luke she always mentioned,  _“It’s a Hemmings recipe!”_

He slowly walked up the pathway and from the corner of his eye he could see the old woman next door that used to take care of Luke was watering her lawn. Her hose came to an immediate stop and she froze in her place as she watched the now grown up boy walk to the porch. Then Luke saw her rush into her own home. Luke looked at the door, the paint was starting to chip and the welcome mat was losing its color.  He rang the doorbell and took a step back, waiting for someone to open the door. He was most excited to see Jack, who he hadn’t seen in years as well.

“Coming, coming!” He heard his mother shout. She opened the door with a smile on her face, Luke forcing one as well. But when she noticed and processed who it was, her smile fell and her eyes went wide. Soon enough her whole face twisted into a different expression, but she kept a forced look, “Luke. You’re out.”

Luke nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but he struggled to choke out anything properly, “Y-yeah. You-you never picked me up.”

His mother, Liz nodded slowly, before opening the door enough for him to squeeze through, “Come in. Sit down on the couch. I’ll be right there.” The house was rearranged differently with brand new furniture. It was strange how so much could change in only a few years. A few years being six years. He sat on the new cream leather couch, taking in his surroundings. He noticed picture frames of Jack and Ben together. The majority of them were Ben and Jack. There were pictures at their high school graduations, special events that had to do with them wearing formal outfits or just casual things like baby photos and birthday parties. Then he saw a picture of Ben and Jack standing next to each other with a smile and he immediately knew where it was from. It was from Luke’s 9th birthday. He saw from the Spiderman birthday cake they were holding and the streamers in Luke’s favorite color in the background. He stood up slowly and approached the frame, only to see a little piece of his own shoulder that had been cut off next to Jack. He picked up the frame and saw that the picture was in fact shorter than it was supposed to be. He placed the picture frame down and his felt his heart shatter in a million pieces when he heard his mother’s voice, “I can explain.”

Luke turned around to find his mother standing there with a pile of papers and a shoebox, “Where’s Jack and Ben?”

“They moved out. They’re all grown up now, Luke.”

Oh. Luke forgot that growing up was a thing and that the world wasn’t revolved around him. He had been trapped in a bubble for years and he’s been out of the loop. Luke lowered his eyes and felt something strange rise to the pit of his stomach. Sadness engulfed him and he felt like someone was stomping all over his soul.

“We need to talk about things now. Everything changed.” Liz managed to say, and Luke could tell she was trying to pick out the right words. She set the papers on the brand new coffee table and held the shoe box to her side, “A couple years after you were admitted to Juvenile Hall, I was thinking… And then things started to collapse. Your dad died and my two oldest sons were graduating. You were brought up everyday by Jack. He really loved you. But Luke… You’re so dangerous, sweetie.” Luke didn’t know what to do with all the feelings he felt as his mother spoke. He didn’t know if he should be angry or upset. He saw his vision get glossy from the tears flowing along his waterline.

“I felt like a horrible mother for letting you do that to another poor kid… And you’re not normal, Luke. You-you don’t communicate. How do you think that makes me feel? As a mother who has raised amazing two boys. Why are you different? I never understood why… And being the mother of a child who got put into Juvenile Hall… What kind of mother does that make me?” She continued, and Luke was completely fallen apart at this point. He was sobbing, wiping his eyes and nose on his shirt, “Stop crying, Luke.” His mom had obviously gotten stronger, she didn’t even budge. Her voice stayed stern and her posture was still upright. Luke didn’t stop crying. “I got rid of everything that reminded me of you. I didn’t want to meet someone new and ask where you are then they say, ‘Oh, he’s in Juvy.’ Because that makes me look like a horrible person. It also makes your brothers look bad, and I don’t want that for them.”

“H-how…” Luke bawled, but his voice trembled and he broke out into another sob.

“So I told them… 'Don’t get near your youngest brother because things will turn out very messy and someone will get hurt.’” She concluded. Luke couldn’t believe what he was hearing and he couldn’t believe this was his mother who baked cookies and stir-fry. She placed the box on the table, “This is the money your father gave us. In this box is an even amount that's sliced between your brothers. This is your share. Now, Luke, the only thing I want you to do is take the money and go.”

“W-what?” Luke croaked, furrowing his brows and sniffling.

“Take the money and go,” she repeated, avoiding his eyes, “I don’t want you coming back. Move as far away as you want.”

He sucked in a breath as the pang in his chest went off again.  _This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real._  “Y-you can’t…”

“You’re eighteen. You’re not supposed to live in my home. Here are some papers you might need.” She slid over the pile, one of the papers including his birth certificate. He took the papers slowly and when she handed over the box, Luke hesitated to take it as well.

“What about… Thanksgiving?”

“You’re not coming.”

That did it for Luke. He took in his surroundings one last time before speeding out of the house. It was just like how it was when he was being taken away. His old neighbor was staring at him with a knowing look, he even noticed the kid, Calum driving his car but coming to an abrupt stop in the middle of the street when Luke ran across. He was rolling down his window yelling something but Luke didn’t catch it, instead he ran and ran until he couldn’t remember how to walk anymore.

 

* * *

 

Michael wakes up at 11:30, which is later than he ever sleeps in. Then he remembers theres a very pretty blond boy sleeping next to him and maybe he uses that as an excuse to stay in bed. Unfortunately Michael is forced to get up when he’s also reminded that he has a job. He carefully gets up and makes sure Luke doesn’t wake up alarmed. When he looks back he sees the blond stirring slightly but snuggling back into the blankets peacefully. Michael is quickly getting ready for the day seeing he only has forty minutes left until his shift starts. He quickly takes the cigarette box from his nightstand and walks to the kitchen, popping one in his mouth. He stops in his tracks to light it then continues making his way to the refrigerator. On his way there he opens up the French window to let some of the fumes out.

Halfway through cooking, Luke emerges from Michael’s room. He’s still wearing his pajamas, being a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants. Michael tries not to forget to flip his pancakes as he stares at the beautiful boy before him. Luke makes his way to the bar stool and sits down to watch Michael cook. Michael is first to speak.

“Morning.”

“What are you making?” Luke asks, not even replying to Michael’s greet.

Michael gestures to the pan and batter in front of him, “Pancakes.”

“You smoke?” The older lad hums. “It’s bad for you.”

“Yeah, well,” Michael sighs, placing the pancakes on the plate and sliding it to Luke, “It’ll kill me faster.”

Luke doesn’t say anything to that. He eats his food silently while Michael prepares his turn. “Sorry for being needy all the time.”

Michael tries to chuckle at that, very low-key, but ends up coughing up a storm when the smoke goes down the wrong pipe. He’s coughing non stop and he looks back at Luke to see him smirking in what looked like victory. When Michael manages to pipe down, “Fuck, I might die right here.”

“Told you.”

Michael chuckles successfully and shakes his head, “Needy? Why do you say that?”

“I’m always making you do things. We talked about this.” Luke says, and Michael shrugs it off like it’s no big deal. “I can help you pay your rent this month. They’re not charging me for the rent from the mold incident.”

As much as Michael would have loved the help, he shakes his head because that would probably mean Luke would be spending more time here. The last thing he needed was his crush practically living with him. “No, it’s fine. My treat.”

“Michael—“

“It’s fine, really,” Michael reassures. He looks at the time on the microwave and curses when he notices he has ten minutes to get to the dock. “Shit, I need to get to work now. Do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, I don’t care. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“You didn’t even eat breakfast yet.” Luke reminds him, but Michael is already waving the boy off again. He zooms out of the apartment and he’s off to work.

 

Around an hour passes and Michael sighs loudly as he sits in the office overlooking the boats. As a boat mechanic, Michael’s days varied from busy or easy going. His boss, Ashton, always let him off for laying around but still gave him a full paycheck. Michael was thankful for it because it helped him pay his rent and for him to survive in general. Michael’s stomach rumbles after getting off the phone with a client who needs him farther down the harbor. He sighs loudly and Ashton looks back at him.

“You heading out?” He asks, facing back at his computer.

“Yup. Some idiot got his keys stuck in the ignition. How is that even possible?” Michael mutters.

He hears Ashton sigh then, “You’d be surprised.”

Michael grumbles something incoherent before grabbing his tools and walking down the stairs. As he turns a corner, his heart nearly jumps out of his chest as he’s startled by no one other than Luke Hemmings. Michael’s eyes go wide as Luke has the same look on his face, his cheeks burning a dark red. “Luke?”

“You left your lunch at home.” Is all Luke says, and he’s handing Michael’s packed lunch toward his chest, “I opened the fridge and saw a bag with today’s date scribbled onto it. So I just figured.”

“Oh,” Michael says, kind of speechless. He takes a hold of the lunch and looks back up at Luke, who is already staring at Michael.

“I’m leaving now.” Luke states, and he begins walking the opposite direction.

Michael is at a lost of words and he physically snaps his head around in different directions to find an answer to this situation. He’s overwhelmed, so he just shouts a, “Thanks!”

Luke doesn’t turn back as he’s fishing out his car keys and heading toward the parking lot. He drove all the way from the apartment complex to Michael’s work just to drop off his lunch? He's confused about the other man who is so silent and reserved and seems to not care about anyone else but himself, but he’s starting to think that's not true.

 

* * *

 

**December 23, 2015**

**6:54 PM**

 

Luke had a tired look on his face. He had his groceries in one hand and his keys to his apartment in the other. His hair was mopped onto his forehead, lifeless. He hadn’t showered since his one night stand and he felt disgusting. His scruff was starting to grow in and his dark circles were prominent than ever. He opened his apartment and threw the groceries onto the counter top before plopping into his own bed and staring up at the ceiling. He got the apartment straight after he moved out, and it had been over a year since he’d done so. Life was boring for Luke. He had no one. Literally.

It sickened him to go out and see all the joyful families in their cozy outfits under the falling snow, sipping hot chocolate as the bright Christmas lights illuminated their happy faces. He scoffed every time a small child would come up to him or smile at him, he felt like a real Scrooge. He shifted away from crowds and tucked himself into his trench coat to keep himself warm, since he had no one to hold. All that was left of Luke’s life was his sex drive. He slept around a lot, always careful about diseases. The incident in Juvy was something Luke tried to ignore, he often had nightmares about it, but he wouldn’t let it interfere with his sex life. Luke had needs, and other people did too, so the only right thing to do would be handling it the easy way. His hand just wasn’t enough, so he ventured to as many gay bars the city could offer to pick up someone for a night. Luke would never take them to his apartment.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Maybe it was his landlord. The guy always bothered Luke about things like the rent or the bills—he was aware he wasn’t paying up lately. Luke stood up droopily, sighing as he made he way to the door. He unlocked it and opened it, eyes widening at who it was. Jack and Ben stood before him, eyes wide as well. They looked older, more like men. Ben had a ring looped around his finger and Jack had a youthful glow in his eyes. He looked happy. 

“Luke,” Jack started, breathless. Luke kept his gaze on the two, scraping his nail slowly against the doorframe mindlessly. Jack noticed the shocked look on his little brother’s face, so he says, “We have news.”

“M-Merry Christmas, by the way.” Ben added, a soft sympathetic smile on his face.

Luke didn’t respond to the statement. Luke hated Christmas.

“Can we come in?” Jack asked, trying to peep in over Luke’s shoulder. The youngest out of the three stepped to the side and invited them inside wordlessly. The two eldest walked in awkwardly to take in their surroundings. It was neat, surprisingly neat. Everything was set up symmetrically and it was rather pleasing to the eye. They took a seat on the couch and decided to make themselves comfortable. Luke sat in the armchair across from them, looking between both of them.

“So, um…” Ben mumbled, fumbling with his fingers, “Before we talk about anything, I think it would be best if we catch up.”

“Just tell me the news and leave.” Luke said coldly. The words took his brothers by surprise and they shifted uncomfortably in their seats. It looked like Jack wanted to say something but he closed his mouth and frowned sadly instead. He looked hurt.

“Mom died. Sh-she—“ Ben tried explaining, but broke out into sobs before he could continue his words. Jack pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back in a comforting manner. Luke stayed still, unamused. He kept his glare on Ben, who was trying to keep himself together and then he shifted his eyes to Jack, who was already looking at him with a sympathetic look.

When Ben finally pulled himself together, he let out a shaky sigh and avoided eye contact from either of his brothers. He nudged Jack slightly, hinting that he should probably take this one. Jack sat up straight and cleared his throat before speaking, “She had a heart attack. It was really… fucking difficult.” Jack explained softly.

Luke raised his eyebrow slightly, the same expression evident. His blood ran cold, in fact it had been cold for years. All the emotion was sucked out of Luke and he was surprised he hadn’t given up on living anymore. Instead of replying to his brothers’ news, he rolled his eyes and stood up from his seat, “Are we done here?”

Then suddenly Ben was standing up from his seat, pointing aggressively at Luke, “That’s it? That’s fucking it? We tell you the news that mom is fucking dead and thats all we get? She raised us, Luke! And now you’re telling us you don’t give a fuck that she’s gone for-fucking-ever?”

“Ben…” Jack tried.

“You’re so selfish, Luke! What the fuck is wrong with you?” He continued. He was directly in front of Luke at that point, finger digging harshly into Luke’s chest. Luke looked down at his finger and shoved it away, taking a step back.

“You’re calling me selfish, Ben?” Luke asked, then chuckled humorously, “Me? Selfish? How about your beloved mother who disowned me just because her social status was going to be oh-so-forever fucked! Oh, not to mention the fact that she stated she cared about you two more than me!”

“You’re being fucking childish!” Ben scoffed.

“She told me to stay away from you! She told you both to stay away from me! How the fuck am I going to forgive her for that? She distanced herself from me, and-and she replaced me! With new fucking furniture! Don’t you see how fucked up that was? I hope she’s happy wherever the fuck she is! Away from me, somewhere in heaven, if thats even a fucking place. Fuck, I wouldn’t even be surprised if she’s burning in hell right now!”

Ben lunged himself forward to push Luke harshly against the wall, wrapping his hands around Luke’s neck. Luke struggled the breathe as he saw his vision go fuzzy and Jack’s pleads in the background going muffled. The younger lad’s eyes screwed shut when he felt something build up inside him, something he’d never felt in a long time. He gathered enough strength to tear Ben’s hands off his neck, and as he struggled to breathe he punched Ben square in the nose. The cracking sound made Luke cringe and Jack let out a horrified yelp. The middle child ran between them, blocking them off from each other as the two attempted to go back for another round.

“You broke my fucking nose, you fucking psychopath!” Ben screamed, holding his nose bleeding nose with a now crimson coated hand.

“Both of you get out of my fucking apartment,” Luke ordered between breaths, swinging the door open. His blood was brought to a boil when they both stood in their spots, “Get the fuck out before I call the cops!”

Then Jack was rushing Ben out of the door, pushing him forward as Ben muttered out protests and profanities. Before Luke could close the door, Jack looked back at the blond who struggled to break eye contact, “Give us a chance, Luke.”

“I thought you actually cared about me.” Luke mumbled, looking away this time, “Just leave, Jack. Don’t come back.”

“Luke…”

“Just fucking go.” Luke ordered, voice threatening. Jack obeyed, a worried look on his face. He guided Ben toward the elevator and soon they were off, not even looking back. Luke told himself he wouldn’t cry over anything for the rest of his life. Even though his life was an endless pit of sadness and depression, he told himself he wouldn’t cry. The whole night consisted of him finding ways to not blow up. He forced his tears into his eyes but eventually when he went to bed, they all came out like waterfalls.

 

* * *

 

“Fuck me,” Michael mutters, whipping out probably the one hundredth cigarette he’s had today. Out of the blue, calls have been coming in left and right and everybody’s boats are acting strange. He had to go to one guy’s house only to find out the reason why the boat wouldn’t start was because of something completely minor. He made the guy pay Michael anyway. Now he was getting out of his car and muttering profanities, the sound of his voice echoing throughout the parking garage. Finally the day was over and he could just rest up in peace. He stopped in his tracks when he remembered Luke, his hot and mysterious neighbor, was going to be staying with him for a little while.

There goes his peace.

He makes his way to the apartment anyway. He’s thinking in his head that maybe he should stall and find excuses so he couldn’t come home for the night but he also couldn’t find a reason why except for the fact that he has a stupid, dumb, irrelevant crush on the other man and Michael doesn’t do relationships. He makes it to his door anyway, and he’s opening it to find a delicious smell filling his nose. He looked over and sees Luke cooking up something good on the stove. Michael kicks off his shoes and pretends not to react as he glances at Luke’s backside, the younger boy tossing something in a large pan.

“I smell smoke,” Luke says, breaking Michael out of his trance. Luke turns around and his cheeks are rosy from the stove, “Stop smoking.”

Michael puts his hands up in surrender before putting out the cigarette in a small glass bowl, “Sorry, mom.”

Luke turns back around at the stove without a word and continues what he was doing. Michael curiously walks over and stands behind Luke, tempted to place his hands on his hips as if this was an everyday thing, but he stops himself when he looks at Luke’s creation. It’s stir-fry and it looks absolutely delicious. Vegetables were coated with a thick, rich goodness and he could smell all his favorite spices all in one-go.

“You cook?”

“You don’t?” Luke asks, and it comes out bitter. Michael ignores that because he’s learned by now that Luke is just a very sour person.

“I mean, I make a mean mac and cheese. From the package, of course.” Michael says to try to lighten the mood.

He swears he hears Luke chuckle before he mutters, “Idiot.” Michael smiles in victory anyway, whether it be his imagination or not, it was the most beautiful thing on this planet.

Minutes later, Luke serves dinner on the small table, meant for a single person. It makes Luke roll his eyes as he tries his best to tuck his long legs under the table across from Michael. The older man notices and before he digs in, he glances up at Luke, “Sorry about that,” he says sheepishly. Luke responds with a quick glare but then proceeds to pick up his silverware and starts to eat with a calm manner. Michael, however, digs in like he’s an animal. He feels like he hasn’t eaten for years even though its only been a few hours. Michael moans a bit too loud, it almost startles Luke from how quiet they’d been since they sat down. “Shit, this is so good! Where did you learn to make this?”

Luke stiffens a bit, but shrugs it off, “Recipe online.”

“Damn,” Michael snickers, mouth full of food, “There’s some talented people out there, I’m tellin’ you.”

“Anyone can make this.”

“Not me! I’m not capable of making myself fucking toast. Just imagine me making stir-fry. Oh, boy.” Luke chuckles a little, and Michael snaps his head up to look at the sight in front of him. The corner of Luke’s mouth is curled up and he’s looking down at his food, eyelashes batting over his baby blues as he stabs his fork into the coated vegetables. Soon enough Luke’s smile is fading and his normal, blank expression returns to his face. Michael take the opportunity to get to know the boy even better, “So, what made you move to this shithole?”

“I needed to get away.” Luke replied quite fast. He glances up at Michael before averting his eyes again—a habit of his. “Had no choice.”

Michael is interested, and he’s never interested in other people’s lives. Because Michael doesn’t do any type of relationship. “Wanna elaborate?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, okay.”

Michael leaves it at that and soon enough he finishes his food. He lays back in his chair and creepily observes Luke as the other boy eats. Its obvious Luke senses the way Michael looks at him, from the way he tenses up and looks at the older boy, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Obviously there’s something, you’re looking at me.”

“When I say it’s nothing, it’s nothing. I’m just not used to having other people over and this is all so weird to me.”

“Why?” Luke asks, turning away again.

Michael sighs loudly and stands up, taking his plate with him. He lazily drops it into the sink because he figures he’ll deal with it later. After that, he opens a cabinet full of all sorts of alcohol. He stares for a moment before picking out some rum and a mix, placing it on the bar. He continues to speak as he picks out two glasses and begins to work his magic, “I just don’t allow people into my life, s’all,” he starts as he prepares the drinks. Michael is careful with his words, “I have a fear of being close to someone and then they leave me. It happened a lot when I was younger. When they did, I just lost it. Things were never fair for me and sometimes I wanted people to feel the same way. Like something was taken away from them—you want one?” Luke nods his head, mouth pressed in a thin line as usual.

“How did you deal with it?” Luke asks.

_The thing I take away from them is their lives._

Michael clicks his tongue as he tops the alcoholic beverage off with a lime clinging onto the glass, “I just let karma have them.”

 

Hours pass and Luke ends up convincing Michael to make one too many drinks. Luke’s limbs are sprawled out on Michael’s bed and the other man is stumbling to his closet to pick out some pajamas. He settles on a worn out  _Guns n Roses_  shirt and just his boxers, he could care less because he can barely walk straight. Then he plops down on the bed, careful not to accidentally hit Luke’s head which is buried in one of Michael’s pillows. He is also just in his boxers and the shirt he wore for the day since he was drunk out of his mind, he didn’t really care to change properly.

“Luke,” Michael slurs, a dopey smile on his face, “You gotta get under the covers.”

“Mmm, no.” Luke replies just as wasted. Instead, Luke shoves his face deeper into Michael’s pillow.

“You’re drunk, you need to get some sleep.” Michael insists, covering himself up with the covers as Luke lamely lays on top of them.

“M’not drunk!” Luke protests. He turns his head to the side to see Michael already looking at him. Their cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and the tip of Luke’s nose looks like he’s been standing out in the rain for too long. It makes Michael’s heart flutter in a way he doesn’t like. He finds himself lifting up his hand and resting the back of it onto Luke’s warm cheek. The younger boy melts into his touch, eyes closed as if they did this all the time, but seconds later Luke opens his eyes and jolts away. He looks sober then, and he pushes Michael’s hand back toward his own body. Without a word, Luke is fast to climb under the covers and lay down, back facing the older man.

Michael furrows his brows, hurt evident in his voice, “Luke?”

“Go to sleep now.” Luke cuts off. There’s a sudden force in his voice, It's still slurred, but his tone sends chills down Michael’s spine. It’s uninviting and it seems like Michael crossed the line, but he only caressed the other man’s cheek. Confusion is written all over Michael’s face as he turns his back toward Luke as well. He struggles to fall asleep that night.

 

* * *

 

**April 14, 2016**

**12:24 AM**

 

Luke was smiling so wide. In this type of situation he always found himself smiling. He was the only reason he smiled genuinely. Working for a big distribution company wasn’t easy with all the traveling, it was especially hard on him and his boyfriend. Every night would result in late night Skype calls, phone sex, and all the long distance shit you could think of. Luke had even sent love letters to his one and only. His name was Matt.

He was told by his boss that he could go home early, back from the beautiful country of Japan. He didn’t want to leave because of the food and the culture, but if it meant he got to see his partner earlier, he of course accepted the offer. He was practically bouncing in his seat the whole car ride to their shared apartment. Matt and Luke had been together for a year and a half. When Luke’s life was being picked up piece by piece, he ran into a man with golden locks and striking grey eyes. That’s when he knew everything would be okay. It wasn’t easy building trust with the man, in fact it took many fights and sleepless nights on the couch to hand him Luke’s full trust. He payed the taxi man before clutching onto his suitcase and rushing out of the car in excitement. He couldn't wait to throw himself into his lover’s arms and kiss him all over. He missed his husky voice in the morning and his laugh, his smile and his rosy cheeks. It only made Luke smile wider.

Luke was nervous, too. Why the hell was he nervous to see his boyfriend of a year and a half? He didn’t know. It felt like their first date all over again. He had only been gone a few weeks. Nothing to be freaking out about, Luke.

He opened the door and slipped off his shoes. He set his suitcase near the couch because he figured he'd deal with that later. He was jet lagged and wasn’t tired at all, even though it was midnight. That didn’t matter to him because all he wanted was to lay in bed with his lover, and as long as he was next to him, Luke could drift to sleep in no time, engulfed in the arms of the man who stole his heart.

What he didn’t expect when he approaches their bedroom door was to hear the sound of a woman laughing, then there were faint whispers. One he recognized as his boyfriend.

Immediately Luke’s mind started to jump to conclusions, but then he remembered Matt had a best friend named Julie who slept over sometimes. Maybe it’s just them watching a movie.

Then he heard moans.

Luke’s face went pale and he covered his mouth to stop the immediate sobs to escape his mouth. He didn’t want to open the door. He knew what he heard. Luke was quick to run toward the door and slip on his shoes. He missed his foot into the shoe a few times, and he felt his world crumbling around him when he heard the bedroom door opening and his boyfriend’s voice shouting throughout the flat.

“Who’s here?” He yelled, obviously in a protective tone. Luke tried to speak but he was choking on his words. Nothing came out as he slipped the other shoe onto his left foot. His shaky hands went to reach for his suitcase, but a voice made him flinch and his heart shatter, “L-Luke?”

Luke didn’t want to turn around. He didn’t want to speak, either. Matt knew how long it took for him to build trust. _He knew._

When Luke didn’t answer, Matt tried again, “I-I thought you’d be back next week.”

“They let me go home early.” Luke managed to say, voice shaky. Keeping his eyes on the door, he heard Matt approaching him with the pit-pattering of his footsteps on the hardwood, “I wanted to surprise you. But you surprised me instead.”

“I-I can explain.” Matt said desperately.

Luke turned around, tears swimming in his eyes, “I don’t wanna fucking hear it,” he choked, “You’re fucking a woman? You’re gay!”

“Matt?” the woman interrupted. She was wearing one of Luke’s shirts with nothing else on. It made Luke’s blood boil. That was his favorite shirt, too, “Is this a bad time? Should I go?”

Matt closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead, “Yes, you need to fucking go, Natalie.”

Natalie quickly nodded and smiled sheepishly at Luke, and a dark cloud flew over him. His eyes went stormy and his vision was still blurry with tears, “Stay. Really, you can.”

“Luke,” Matt started, pity in his voice.

“No, please. Why don’t I just make you both tea and we can talk about this?” Luke asked, forcing a smile at the both of them, who looked absolutely perfect together. Luke smiled even wider at his ex boyfriend, “It’s what you’d want, right?”

Matt was hesitant, but he nodded, wondering what Luke was up to. He looked to his side where  _Natalie_  was— _mystery girl Natalie,_  and the woman shrugged, making her way to the kitchen nonetheless. Luke’s eyes are like daggers as he stared at his ex, and the man stared back, just the same. Luke smiled in victory when Matt walked into the kitchen and he finds the two sat at the dining table.

Everyone is silent as Luke made the tea. The kettle started to hiss and Luke turned off the stove.

“How long has this been going on?” Luke asked calmly as he put the tea bags into two mugs.

It takes a long silence before Matt spoke up, “A few months.”

“A few months,” Luke repeated, amused. He hums lowly and pours the boiling water into the mug, “Thats a while without me knowing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are, Matt,” Luke laughed, a cold smile afterwards. He turns around to look at the pair, tea in both hands, “I’m sure you are.”

“Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but you’re really freaking me out.” Natalie spat, arms crossed as she looked at Luke with sass. Luke approached the table slowly, smile still evident. At the last second, Luke slams the mug onto the table, startling both Natalie and Matt. Some of the hot liquid falls out of the mug and burns him, but Luke doesn’t care. Luke stared at the woman for a while before turning his attention back at Matt, who looked scared.

“You don’t know how long it took me to trust you.” Luke stated, pushing the tea toward them.

“Took you long enough.” Matt said bitterly.

Luke snickered unhumorously at that, “Why did you do it?”

“Because you’re always fucking gone for trips and you’re so insecure.” Matt snapped, the sudden voice startling Luke slightly, “I needed someone who was confident. You’re-you’re so insecure! A-and you are  _so_  timid! You had all these problems in the past and it just made me realize that if I broke up with you, I’d break you completely. I only sucked you off at that club because I felt pity! You were such a mess, Luke. You were so broken, and I was afraid I would break you even more if I told you how I really felt.”

Luke was speechless after that. Those words hurt more than Luke expected. Instead of saying anything, Luke nodded slowly, tears brimming his eyes again. Luke looked defeated, so vulnerable as he backed away from the dining table. Natalie looked shocked too, as if she realized what kind of monster she had been dating for the past few months. Luke hadn’t felt the way he was feeling for years. Every bad thought was clouding his mind as he opened a drawer, only to pick up a large knife that was used to dice vegetables.

“Whoa, Luke,” Matt said, voice alarmed. Luke heard the sound of Matt’s chair scratching on the ground.

“Sit the fuck down or no one gets hurt.” Luke warned, looking over his shoulder.

“Natalie, call 911.” Matt ordered.

“My phone is in your room.” Natalie said, panic in her voice.

“What part of _sit down_ do you not understand, Matt?” Luke snapped, turning around as he pointed the knife toward the blond man. Matt put his hands up as he slowly sunk back down in his chair. Natalie was shaking next to him. Poor girl, Luke thought—except he didn’t exactly find a reason to care since she was aware Matt was dating someone else in the first place.

“Just put the knife down, Luke. W-we can talk this out.” Matt offered, faux kindness in his voice.

Luke chuckled at that, swiping one of the mugs back in one swift motion. Unexpectedly, he jerked his hand forward and let the boiling water hit Matt’s flesh. The man screamed out in agony, tearing at his skin and falling onto the ground in pain. The sound of his lover’s screaming is music to Luke’s ears.

Natalie was full on panicking, looking down at Matt as she squirmed in her seat. Luke smiled at her as he takes her mug and dumps that one on Matt as well, the screams intensifying as he lay on the ground. Natalie began to cry as Matt choked out, “Call 911!”

“Be a good girl and don’t move, Natalie.” Luke ordered, walking around the table with the knife in hand. Natalie stayed put, following Luke’s moves with her eyes. Luke looked down at the sight before him, his lover on the ground with burning red skin as he struggled to speak and move. Matt’s eyes wandered shakily onto Luke, fear evident in his face. Luke smiled sweetly before planting the knife in Matt’s chest. The wind was knocked out of the other man, he was unable to speak. Instead his mouth parted open wide, pain in his eyes as only small sounds escaped his mouth. Natalie was screaming and crying, covering her eyes as she bounced in her seat. Luke knew Matt was gone when his movements stilled and his eyes came to a close. Luke felt nothing.

Natalie was next, and he felt the need to spare her, but the urge in his body felt something else. Luke looked at the girl, who had her eyes shut tightly as she shook in her seat, trying to take deep breaths but they were just replaced by her sobbing. She had no control over herself. Luke walked behind her and wrapped his arm around her neck, holding her into a headlock. She struggled to breathe as he spoke softly, “I want you to know something, Natalie.” He started, nuzzling his nose into her hair. The girl was choking, her arms trying to fight her way out of Luke’s grip, but he was too strong, “I had a hard life. Matt picked me up and put all my pieces back together. And, well, you’re the reason why it all crumbled and resulted into this. Could you be more selfish?”

Luke laughed because it was impossible for Natalie to respond, “Actually, it wasn’t completely your fault. Some of it was Matt’s, but did you have to be that dumb to help him cheat? I've been through a lot, I really needed some support. And you helped him take that away from me. You took away my foundation. If you take something from me, I will take something from you.”

So Luke took the most important thing from her—her life.

 

* * *

 

Michael felt movement next to him. He groans and looks at the clock, head pounding. It was only four in the morning. The older man rolls his eyes and looks over at Luke, and he regrets making a big deal out of his sleep schedule. Luke is shaking, obviously asleep. He was probably having a night terror from the sounds that were coming out of his mouth and the slight movements he was making. Michael is more aware of the situation as he panics and shakes the blond, even patting his face around a few times before Luke manages to move.

“Luke? Luke, are you okay?” Michael asks. Luke’s eyes open wide and he sits up rapidly. He’s panting and his breathing is ragged. The man doesn’t speak and he tries to catch his breath while Michael is rubbing his back soothingly. Silence grows between them and Michael aches to break it when Luke’s breathing becomes normal.

“I felt like I couldn’t move.” Luke says finally, keeping his eyes on the bed sheets in front of him. Michael leans forward to get a better look at the other man’s face. There's dried up tear streaks going down his cheeks and his nose is red.

“Sleep paralysis, maybe?” Michael suggests. He keeps rubbing at Luke’s back and he’s surprised when the blond doesn’t stop him anytime soon.

“That’s what it felt like.” Luke responds softly. There’s something hidden in his voice but Michael can’t put his finger on it.

He’s careful with his words as he grows to be more and more curious, “What did you dream about?” 

Michael could tell Luke was about to make a sassy remark like he always does, but Luke closes his mouth and sniffles loudly, fumbling with his fingers. “My past.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Luke is hesitant to answer, small noises coming out before he could even say real sentences, “It’s a lot to take in.”

“You’d be very surprised about what I can handle.” Michael snickers, trying to lighten up the mood. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

The younger man shifts so he’s facing Michael, “I just went through a lot as a kid—fuck, my head is pounding. How much did we drink last night?”

“A lot. Sorry, I’ll help you with that.” Michael butts in.

Luke nods, thankful. “Anyway, being a teenager was hard too. You’ll think I’m a freak for how I grew up. Where I grew up.”

“Luke, nothing is gonna make me think differently of you.” Michael assures.

“This will.”

Luke looks so small, so shy as he speaks. Michael just wants to hug him and squish him to pieces, in a good way. Michael shakes his head and he finds himself wrapping his arms around Luke, bringing the man into a hug. It’s a risky move, considering the two have never really made any physical contact and he knows Luke doesn’t like that kind of contact. Michael doesn’t care, though. He wants to let Luke know that he can trust him. Luke is stiffens under Michael’s touch, but he soon relaxes and melts into the man’s arms. Michael buries his face in Luke’s neck and he hasn’t felt this complete in a long time, “Our bond is stronger than you think.”

Luke lets out a shaky breath. He doesn’t hug Michael back. The older lad could feel how nervous Luke was as he managed to choke out, “I went to Juvenile Hall. I was admitted at a young age.” Michael just hugged him tighter, surprising Luke. Oh boy, Michael was surprised too. He was curious as to what happened and how he got in there, but he didn’t want to push things, “While I was in there, some bad things happened to me. Really really bad things. The memories are so strong. A-and the feelings… they still hurt. L-like, I can feel them abusing me.”

Michael got the hint and rubbed at Luke’s back, “I understand. You can skip the details.”

“Thank you,” Luke gasps out, finally wrapping his arms around Michael. The older man’s stomach did backflips, it was probably the most inappropriate time to think about his feelings toward Luke. “Long story short… The incident haunts me still. Fast forward, my mother disowns me for a stupid reason and my brothers act like they care, but I can see right through them. Fast forward again, I catch my boyfriend cheating on me with a woman. A-and I… I’m a monster...”

Michael waits for the next words to come but they don’t, “You’re not a monster.”

“I am a fucking monster, Michael,” Luke snaps, breaking away from their embrace. There’s tears falling down Luke’s eyes, “You wouldn’t understand what happened. Y-you couldn’t handle it.”

Michael comes to the conclusion that this is where the conversation should stop. Instead of pushing it any further, Michael lifts up the blanket and wipes Luke’s tears away. The contact bring’s Luke’s eyes to a close. Michael’s feelings get the best of him as he stares at the masterpiece in front of him. The moon is setting but its light is still reflecting off of Luke’s skin. Half of his face is covered by the moon’s light and the other half is absorbed by the room’s darkness. He could think of a million poetic things to match the way Luke’s looks, but Michael goes the blunt route, “I think you’re beautiful.”

Luke opens his eyes and his lips are parted, taken aback, “W-what?”

“I think you’re beautiful,” Michael repeats. He feels himself turning red, “This is really bad timing, but like, I-I think you’re beautiful. Inside and out.”

Michael regrets his decision immediately when he expects Luke to hop out of bed and sprint out of the apartment in disgust, but that doesn’t happen. Instead, Luke stays in place with the same expression on his face as he speaks softly, “Why?”

“You’re such a mystery… And that captivates me,” he begins, "You don’t take anyone’s shit and there’s something about you thats so… dark. It reels me in, in a good way. The bad way… I feel like the bad way is something we can work with, considering we’re similar. That’s if you feel the same way.”

Luke furrows his brows, “We’re not similar.”

“We’re very similar, Luke. I don’t know what it is, and you don’t know what it is, but we both have it… and we just click. When the time comes and you can trust me, I’ll be one of the happiest people on this planet, but even now, a time that you don’t fully trust me, I’m equally as happy. I can wait as long as you need.” Michael explains the best he can, “And I know I said I don’t do relationships, but you really crossed the line with this one. You make me feel sane.”

Michael’s own words take him by surprise and he’s red. He feels like his words escalated and he’s afraid to look at Luke’s reaction. He really fucked up this time, he thought. He’s avoiding Luke’s eyes and squirming a bit, but Luke stays still. It seems like he’s trying to gather his thoughts. Then Luke speaks, voice small, “I-I’m really tired… Do you have that Advil? My head feels like its getting bashed in.”

Michael’s heart breaks in two. He feels it in his chest, its an overwhelming pain he’s never felt before. His first attempt when confessing his feelings toward someone has been shot down. He doesn’t move or respond for a long time, before he nods and stands up. He doesn’t make eye contact with Luke, “Yeah. I’ll be back.”

He stands up and walks into the kitchen. He grabs the Advil from a small medicine cabinet and grabs a cigarette and his lighter on the way. He pops the unlit cigarette in his mouth as he hands Luke the bottle of Advil and a glass of water. After Luke is finished, he places the empty glass onto the side table and sees Michael walking out of the bedroom as he attempts to light the cigarette.

“Where are you going?”

“Smoke.” Michael replies, not looking back as he makes his way into his living room. He opens the French window and watches the sunset peaking behind a giant hill in the distance. He turns to the left as he takes in a big inhale, only to see the fire escape. He chuckles unhumorously at his stupidity when he remembers the cute boy he forced down just before he was about to end his life. What luck that is.

Suddenly, halfway through his cigarette, he feels a presence behind him. He glances over his shoulder for a split second to see Luke, then he turns back around and takes in another whiff. “Hey,” Luke starts, squeezing next to Michael so he can look at the world around them. Michael hums in response, resting his elbows onto the frame. Silence grows between them as the only sounds are Michael’s inhales and exhales. Luke speaks up, “When did you start to smoke?”

“Sophomore year of high school.” Michael replies, the corner of his mouth curling up from the memory, “I was friends with all the bad kids in my grade. They always went out, got in trouble, did drugs, you name it.”

From the corner of Michael’s eye, he could see Luke bite his lip hesitantly, “Have you ever gotten arrested?”

Michael laughs fondly at the innocent question and shakes his head. He’d be so fucked if he did, “I haven’t. I've never gotten into as much trouble as they have. Never did drugs, I only tried a cigarette and I can feel it slowly killing me already.”

“Would you ever stop?”

“If I have a reason to.”

They don’t say anything for a while, so they just stand there in silence. Michael didn’t realize Luke had a blanket wrapped around himself. He looked so soft and adorable, it made Michael’s heart ache even more. “Hey, Michael?” Michael hums. “I didn’t mean to cut you off like that.”

Michael shrugs it off like a little kid. “S’whatever.”

“No, it was selfish,” Luke assures. Michael swallows and sighs. “You um… said really nice things about me. No one has talked to me like that before.”

“Not even your ex boyfriend?”

Luke sucks in a sharp breath and nods, “Not even him.”

“Sounds like a dick to me.” Michael snickers. He looks over at Luke to see his reaction but he doesn’t budge. He stares into space and it looks like he’s about to cry. Michael wipes the smile off his face and directs his attention toward the younger boy, “Hey… Hey, don’t cry.”

Luke shakes his head and wipes the tears from his eyes, “I’m over him. It’s just something else. I don’t know, I’m feeling a lot of things right now.”

“Understandable.” Michael agrees.

Luke sniffles and smiles, Michael’s stomach does backflips, “So, I make you feel sane? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Michael flicks out his cigarette and snickers, trying to hide his nerves, “I don’t know. It was a stupid thing to say.”

“No, really,” Luke says in a playful tone, “What makes you so insane, Mr. Clifford?”

“Luke, honestly, this sexual tension is killing me.” Michael replies with a smug smirk. The younger boy rolls his eyes and turns around, making his way back to the bedroom. Michael smiles too then, and turns back around to look out the window. 

 

* * *

 

**July 4th, 2016**  

 

**9:00 PM**

 

Luke sat in his apartment in front of the TV drinking beer. He hadn’t moved for days. He just sat and never really bothered to make a routine for himself. There was a knock on his door and he forced himself up, followed by a loud groan.

“Coming.” Luke grumbled, stomping to the door only to find his landlord standing there with an angry look on his face.

“You forgot to pay the rent again.” he said, obviously annoyed.

Luke wakes up and runs his hands through his hair, “Fuck, sorry. I’ll go grab my checkbook right now and-“

“You’re out. Find another place to live. Pack your things and get the fuck outta my complex.” the landlord snapped. Then he was walking away, and Luke stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

“Fuck.” he whispered, slamming the door shut behind him. The fireworks in the distance started to go off and Luke’s head went dizzy before he passed out on the kitchen floor.

 

* * *

 

Michael wakes up again for the second time that day, Luke by his side. Instead, the atmosphere is more comfortable and it feels like he has a heavy weight lifted off his shoulders. He stretches and looks to the side to see it’s 10:30. Luckily he doesn’t have work that day and he can go about his day with whatever he pleases. In that case it’s spend time with Luke. The man next to him is breathing slowly and peacefully, eyes closed so delicately. Michael is almost afraid of staring as if he’ll break him, but he keeps his gaze on the man, a smile creeping onto his face without him knowing.

 

 

 

Seconds later Luke’s eyes flutter open and he looks at Michael straight in the eye. At first Michael panics because Luke is so reserved and so ‘bleh,' but that all vanishes when Luke smiles tiredly and snuggles deeper into the pillow, eyes still suck on Michael. “How long have you been up?” he asks, voice hoarse from sleep.

“A couple minutes.” he replies.

Luke’s eyes widen out of realization and he shifts his position so he’s sitting up, “You have work, right?”

“Mm, no it’s my day off.” Michael says as he stretches his arms and let out a trail of moans as he does so. Michael’s limbs plop back down and he looks back at Luke, who relaxes and lays back down, only it’s a bit closer to Michael than before. Luke pretends he doesn’t realize it. Michael starts to sweat and he curses at his body to stop because thats disgusting and embarrassing. He can’t sweat every time Luke gets close to him.

“Oh,” Luke sighs in relief. Their faces are only inches apart and Michael’s breathing hitches. He probably has morning breath.

“I-I can make breakfast if you want?” Michael stutters, inching away from Luke as he barley slips out of bed.

Luke chuckles and sits up. He replies teasingly, “I can starve if you want?”

Michael rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at the other man before walking into the kitchen to prepare something for them to eat.

 

Michael was heartbroken. Not just heartbroken, but a lot of other feelings. Whatever he was feeling, he had the aching need to numb it all. He only got that numbness when he killed.

The whole day he and Luke talked casually. It was so normal, and Luke basically pushed Michael into the friend zone. It hurt, considering Michael poured his heart out to Luke. He thought he felt a mutual connection, but things were slow. Too slow for Michael’s liking and he decided to give up. It was eleven o’clock at night and Michael sneaks out of bed and slips on his shoes after he puts on some normal clothes. He styles his hair in different directions at the mirror by the door before slipping out and walking down the stairs to his car.

The drive to the club is short. It’s only a few blocks away since their apartment complex is in the heart of town. He parks in the back lot and shows the bouncer his ID, and he’s granted access inside. The bass is pulsing and the lights are flashing. The air starts to get humid and smells of mixed perfumes and sweat fill the atmosphere as he gets closer to the dance floor. So far things were difficult. No one seemed to be his type and oddly enough, no one seemed to be interested in Michael. It usually takes Michael about five minutes before he finds someone and convinces them to come home with him, but thirty minutes pass and no one approaches him. He hands his empty glass to the bartender before making his way to the dance floor and finds a brown haired man that catches his eye. The man sees what Michael wants and he starts grinding on him first, Michael starts to follow his movements when he places his hands on the mystery boy’s hips.

The man leans his back against Michael’s torso, dancing against his body and he tilts his head back so he can speak near Michael’s ear, “You here to forget about someone?”

Michael chuckles sadly and proceeds to keep up with his movements, “How could you tell?”

“Cause I’m doing the same thing!”

Michael thinks this is the perfect person to take to a run down inn, that way he won’t have to deal with a broken heart any longer. If anything, Michael is doing him a favor. Michael leans in closer to the man’s ear, “What do you say we both try to forget about the people who hurt us and have some fun for ourselves?”

“I couldn’t agree more, babe!”

Michael offers the other man his hand and he takes it eagerly. Michael starts to guide them away from the dance floor but his heart drops when he sees Luke sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand, already looking at Michael. He raises his glass at him and has this smirk on his face. Michael feels his whole body go pale as he’s caught red handed by Luke. The said-boy pays the bartender and walks over, and the man beside Michael is questioning him.

“Luke? What are you doing here?” Michael asks.

Luke looks between Michael and the man, face neutral. Knowing Luke, he’s probably scaring the man Michael is with considering he doesn’t know him at all. Luke finally speaks up and looks at Michael, pretending the man doesn’t exist, “I followed you.”

Michael furrows his brows and suddenly he feels angry. He doesn’t realize he’s griping the other man’s hand so hard when he yelps and inches away from Michael. “I-I’m gonna go.” the man says, and he runs back onto the dance floor until he’s swallowed by the sweaty bodies.

“Wait, wait, wait. We’re talking out here.” Michael grumbles, and he guides Luke out of the club so they’re in the parking lot. A group of girls get out of their car and giggle at the pair before strutting toward the entrance. He finally looks at Luke with the same expression on his face as before, “You fucking followed me?”

“Michael, a guy is gonna get suspicious when he’s your neighbor, sneaking out more than twice a week, at the same exact time. Not to mention I’m sleeping in his bed for the time being,” Luke explains, arms crossed, “Only to find out you’re just banging a bunch of cute boys.”

Michael clicks his tongue and snickers, digging into his back pocket to fetch a cigarette. He sticks it in between his lips and pulls out his lighter. Michael offers Luke a cigarette as a joke and he just rolls his eyes. He shoves the box back into his pants and lights it, inhaling the fumes. “If only it were that easy,” Michael says.

Luke glances back at a beat up car and leans against it, “Am I making it harder for you, then?”

Michael shrugs, “In a way, yes, but you’d never understand.”

Luke has a look on his face now, and it’s a mixture of hurt and confusion, “I’d never understand?” he asks, challenge in his eyes, “After everything I’ve been through, at least the amount of things I’ve told you, you think I’d never understand?”

“Really, Luke, let it go.” Michael growled, tapping his index finger on his thigh. It was a tick he had when he got anxious or frustrated.

“No, really. You brought it up, so why don’t you tell me?” Luke demanded, standing up and stepping closer to Michael, “If you really wanted to go out and bang someone, come back the morning after and look at me with googly eyes and a fond smile on your face, why do you do it?”

“You wouldn’t never un-“

“Don’t fucking say I wouldn’t understand, Michael!” Luke snaps, and it’s the first time Michael has heard genuine anger in Luke. Michael inhales another go, but Luke is fast to snatch the cigarette out of his mouth and throw it onto the ground somewhere, “Stop smoking! God, you’re gonna kill yourself!”

Michael raises his eyebrows at him and licks at his lips, “What the hell do you want from me, Luke? You don’t even like me.”

“But I fucking do, Michael! A-and you’re going out doing things like this! It makes me feel so useless!”

Michael stares at Luke disbelievingly, “You’re blaming me for how useless you feel?”

“No! God, Michael,” Luke groans. His hands are in his hair and he’s slightly tugging it, “I felt like I could help you open up to me somehow, and I think about it a lot. Because I genuinely c-care about you… And instead you just shut me out and go fuck other guys behind my back! That’s why I feel useless, Michael!”

Michael doesn’t have the energy to react to Luke’s confession, instead he starts to walk to his car. Luke follows behind, heaving angrily from how much he spoke.

“So, now what?” Michael asks, not looking behind him as he fetches out his car keys, “Want me to fuck you, then? Will that solve things?”

Luke stops in his tracks and stares at Michael getting into the car. Michael is looking directly at him with a straight face. There’s blush on Luke’s cheeks, but the rest of his face reads other things, “You’re so disgusting, you know that?”

“Finally someone says it,” Michael mutters, starting the car, “Did you take a cab?”

Luke hesitates for a second, “Yeah.”

“Get in.”

 

The drive to the flat is quiet. Luke is obviously angry, his arms are crossed and he’s looking out the window. Michael glances over at Luke a few times and they manage to get to the apartment. They walk in, and Luke brushes past Michael in a swift motion.

“Sorry for ruining your chances with a one night stand. How fucking tragic.” Luke mutters as he walks toward Michael’s bedroom.

That’s what makes Michael click.

He’s quick to catch up with Luke. The younger man turns around and his eyes widen when he feels Michael pin him against the wall. Luke’s head hits the wall with a thud, and he winces slightly, but recovers with that same look on his face when they first met. Annoyed. Cold.

“What the fuck is your goal here?” Michael asks harshly, face too close to Luke’s. Their breaths are mixed and theres so much tension between them; the sexual tension and the frustrating tension. When Luke doesn’t struggle, he instead lunges his head forward so their lips meet. Luke kisses Michael hungrily, and the action is reciprocated almost immediately. Michael lets go of one of Luke’s hands and pulls him into the bedroom. Their clothing is getting removed one by one, sloppy kisses in between. After Luke is just left in his boxers, along with Michael, the older man pushes Luke down onto the bed.

Luke looks up at Michael, eyes filled with lust and something cloudy. Michael is the same way, except he’s slightly annoyed. He guesses this is what hate sex is all about and maybe this is a better way to relieve what he’s feeling instead of actually killing someone.

“You wanna do this?” Michael grumbles as he kisses Luke’s neck while palming him through his boxers.

Luke moans, and Michael’s stomach does backflips, “Yes, you fucking prick.” Michael tugs down Luke's underwear, leaving him pale and exposed just for Michael. Luke doesn't break eye contact.

"How do you want this?" Michael asks, taking in every curve, every flaw on Luke's body.

Luke's expression changes into one of lust, his eyes darkening, "Fuck me like you would to those young boys from the club."

Michael grits his teeth and grabs Luke by the shoulders, flipping him over effortlessly onto his stomach. Michael leans over to open the drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a tube of lube. He squeezes a dubious amount on his fingers and leans over Luke, spreading his cheeks. Without warning, he shoves one finger in, earning a groan from Luke.

"Okay?" Michael asks, voice strained.

"Another. I can take it." Luke grits out. Michael obeys and thrusts another finger in, starting a rhythm. Luke is left moaning loudly, fucking himself back on Michael's fingers.

"You want my cock?" Michael asks, pulling his fingers out.

"Yeah." Luke sighs.

Michael lines himself up and presses in, Luke's tight heat surrounding him in the most splendid way. Luke is panting, grabbing at the sheets, and fucking himself onto Michael.

Control. Michael wants control.

He places his hands on Luke's hips and grips, hard, hoping to leave bruises that will be visible in the morning. Then, without warning, thrusts brutally into Luke's hole.

"Fuck!" Luke shouts, groaning at every thrust. He looks over his shoulder at Michael, who is watching his cock disappear into Luke's body repeatedly. "You're dirty and absolutely filthy, Michael Clifford. I'm just one of your little fuck toys, huh? If I didn't catch you at the club you would be fucking that boy like you are to me right now, huh? Hard and rough."

"Fuck you," Michael groans, "You're something special, Hemmings. You get something so much different from the other boys."

"Yeah? What's- _uh!_ -that?" Luke challenges.

"You get the privilege of waking up the next morning, with a sore ass and a beating heart." Michael hisses.

Luke's eyes roll back, he doesn't even think twice about what Michael said as he empties himself on the sheets, untouched. Michael follows shortly behind, emptying himself into Luke.

Luke falls asleep instantly, messy sweaty and sated. Michael hasn't had that much fun in years.

 

 

The next day after their night together, Luke moves back into his own apartment across the hall. Michael is a bit sad, considering he just had sex with the man he's infatuated with. Luke doesn’t talk to Michael for a few days after that. They were in the fight mode, and it was killing Michael. He’s sure he’d gone through more than twenty cigarette packs since the night Luke left.

Then one night Luke stumbles at Michael’s door, an angry look on his face. When Michael opens the door, Luke rushes in and plops himself onto the couch. He doesn’t bother to explain to Michael what happened, he just rolls his eyes and says he wants to get his mind off things. One thing led to another and they were having sex again, Michael felt bad for the old woman living next door. As Luke rides Michael, desperate and aggressive, Michael stares up at Luke with questioning eyes, and he searches Luke’s face for answers, but instead all he gets is Luke’s pleasured expression and something unknown buried deep in his skin.

Michael knows something is wrong after Luke collapses onto Michael’s body from his high and he starts crying. Even though they’re fighting, Michael holds him nonetheless. The atmosphere shifts and they’re cuddled together, closer than they’ve ever been before.  Michael figures being friends with benefits is all they can afford right now, from how Luke has been acting. Luke was never ready for another relationship.

Morning comes and Michael is in the kitchen making breakfast before he has to run off to work.  Luke comes in after Michael finishes preparing their meal. Luke is wearing only his boxers and his hair is a mess. He looks freshly fucked.

“Hey.” he murmurs, taking a seat next to Michael on the bar. He picks up his fork and takes a bite out of the omelette.

Michael doesn’t answer as he pushes a newspaper toward Luke. He knows what Luke likes by now. Luke thanks him quietly before picking up a pen that was left there yesterday, and he eats his breakfast whilst solving a crossword puzzle.

“I need to leave,” Michael says, getting up and dumping his plate into the sink. Luke looks up from his puzzle, only a couple words in.

“Already?”

“Time doesn’t stop for anybody.” Michael sighs, grabbing his car keys and opening the front door. He looks back and sees Luke already looking at him, “Will you be here when I get back?”

“I don’t know.” Luke says. He has a perfectly good apartment of his own, why would he still be at Michael’s?

Michael nods before walking out of the apartment. The truth is Michael doesn’t have work that day. He’s out searching for another victim. It’s been too long and his hands are aching. He misses the power, he misses how foolish his victim could be. It’s really the rush he gets that he misses, and its such a big responsibility to the point where it it gets his mind off of other things. For this instance it’s Luke. Killing another person is like getting drunk for Michael, and it’s an addiction.

He pulls out a cigarette as he walks down Main Street. Its a strip of restaurants and shops. The place is packed and it was pretty easy to get away with anything around here. He’s sure that in an alleyway somewhere down the street someone is getting mugged.

He inhales the cigarette and curses at himself because what’s his strategy? It’s daylight and he doesn’t feel like he should even attempt to have sex with anyone. He and Luke have a thing, and he’s trying to do everything to protect that relationship… or at least whatever they have. 

It takes Michael more time to think about his decisions and his plot before taking action, and boy its harder than he thought.

 

* * *

 

**Present Day**

**11:45 AM**

 

Luke finishes the crossword puzzle and smiles in victory. He tries to find things to do in Michael’s apartment, nothing seems to satisfy him. It’s only Michael who entertains Luke. Their relationship at the moment was fucked up and it was all because Luke has relationship issues, and Michael has secrets. All the above makes Luke want to scream and punch a wall. He stands up and rolls his eyes because he needs a snack. It’s been a few hours since Michael left to work and Luke does have the decision to go home, but Michael’s apartment feels like home.

He opens the fridge and looks at the piles of leftovers, then the realization strikes him that Michael never packed his lunch for work. Luke thinks of it as a peace offering, that maybe if Luke approaches Michael and cares for him like a normal boyfriend, things could fall into place.

He quickly packs something nutritious and writes Michael’s name on the bag like an overprotective mother. He runs out the door and smiles to himself because what he’s doing is absurd, he’s only done it once, but it feels so right and so comfortable.

He arrives at the dock and approaches the building Michael is usually in to take calls. He knocks on the door and when he’s granted a “Come in!” he opens it to find a small room with a couple desks, computers and some papers scattered everywhere. A curly haired man looks at Luke and offers him a smile. His name tag reads 'Ashton.' “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, um… Michael forgot his lunch at home and I thought I’d bring it to him.” Luke explains, gesturing toward the bag in his hand.

Ashton’s lips part and he furrows his brows in confusion, “Michael is off work today.”

He processes the words and his face goes pale. Luke feels a pang of hurt in his chest because Michael lied to him. Where could he be? The club isn’t opened until night time and it’s almost noon. Luke doesn’t know what to say, so he just mumbles a ‘thank you.’ and leaves quickly.

 

* * *

 

He manages to find someone. It’s a homeless guy, and he thought this would be the best bet to go because he figures the guy has no friends or family so there would be no way to track him. He lures the man to the parking lot and soon they’re in his car, one thing leads to another and all of his limbs are in black plastic bags. Relief washes over Michael and he feels like he can breathe again. After murders, Michael never feels bad.

He drives to the dock and gets on his boat. He sees some familiar faces as he steps onto his boat, and he’s off. After disposing of the plastic bags, he drives back to the dock and smiles. He feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders and he really needed that time to himself. He drives back home with a smile on his face and he walks into his apartment. He kicks off his shoes and is greeted with silence. He figures Luke went home and he feels a bit disappointed, but he goes about his afternoon any who. That wasn’t until Luke emerges from the bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest and he looks like he’s been crying. His eyes are red and puffy and the sight breaks Michael’s heart.

“Babe, what’s-“ Michael starts, rushing over to Luke, but the other man backs up abruptly.

“Don’t.” Luke snaps, avoiding Michael’s eyes. Michael starts to sweat and his hands start to shake because maybe Luke knows about his secret. “I know you didn’t go to work today. You lied to me.”

Oh fuck.

“H-hey, don’t think of me as any different.” Michael stammers, face pale. He hates his fucking life. He hates his fucking life and Luke is going to turn him into the police. He knew this was a bad idea. He fucking knew letting Luke into his life was going to ruin everything. He knew—

“I went out and brought you lunch but you weren’t there. Your boss said you were off work. Where the fuck were you? You always do that, Michael!” Luke explains, tears filling his eyes.

Oh. Michael feels a bit relieved, but that doesn’t change the fact that Luke is upset over him lying to him. Michael steps closer to Luke but the other man shakes his head rapidly. “Luke, I was running errands. I just didn’t want you to worry about helping me. You already do so much. I know you have trust issues, a-and I know it took a while for me to pry into your life, but I’m here now and I don’t want to fuck things up.”

Luke looks a bit relieved too, but he still looks a bit angry. He shakes his head again and brushes past Michael, putting on his coat and slipping on his shoes. “I’m going out.”

“W-what? Where?” Michael asks, turning around to face the other man.

“I’m gonna walk for a bit. I need to clear my head.” Luke explains. He turns the doorknob and opens it just a crack.

“When will you be back?” Michael questions again, eager to know Luke is staying.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back. Depends how fast I get over it.” Luke says, and he walks out the door.

“Luke, I love you.” Michael blurts. He feels his whole face go red when the door freezes from shutting. Anxiety builds up in Michael as he waits for a response, but he gets nothing when the door finally closes and he hears Luke’s footsteps walk down the hallway. The older man’s heart drops. He stares at the door for a few more minutes in shock. One hour turned into two hours and then three, and he really felt like he fucked up completely. He spent the whole rest of the afternoon drinking beer and watching shitty TV while still worrying about Luke.

 

* * *

 

**Present Day**

**9:30 PM**

 

With groceries in hand and a tired look on his face, Luke walks along the sidewalk to their apartment complex. He spent most of the afternoon contemplating with blush on his cheeks as he walked around the city. He managed to get some exercise out of it which was a plus for him, but Michael’s voice echoes through his head before he left.  _“Luke, I love you.”_

Luke buries his face into his scarf, embarrassed but also quite flattered. He smiles to himself because he just can’t help it. _Michael loves him._

“Hey, blondie.” a deep voice shouts.

Luke looks to his right and deep into an alleyway, he finds three men with face tattoos, piercings, and bad vibes sitting on top of a trash can smoking who knows what. Luke really should ignore their stares, so he begins to walk again. Until he’s forcefully pulled into the alleyway by one of the men. Luke stiffens up because he’s thinking this is Juvenile Hall all over again. Luke feels himself crying for what seems like the one hundredth time today, and the men laugh at him.

“He’s crying.”

“Check if he’s got money on him.” one of the orders, and two of the men dig into Luke’s pockets until his wallet is fished out. Luke only carries a small amount of his money onto himself, a few grand. One of the men take out his credit card and waves it around, laughing.

“Kid, if you move, you’re fucking dead.” one says. Luke is terrified. He clenches onto his groceries like they’re all he has, but the man who spoke out takes them and throws the bags behind him. All the items Luke bought are scattered onto the ground and Luke stares at it, emotionless. A single tear falls from his eye when one of the men push him against the wall. His head hits the bricks rather hard and he winces, shutting his eyes tightly.

Then they’re punching him. They’re laughing over his weak body until he’s on the ground and they’ve gotten a few kicks into him. Luke struggles to move and pain is running throughout his whole body. There's no spot that doesn’t hurt. All he wants right now is Michael.

Michael, Michael, Michael.

 

 

There’s knocks on his door and Michael stands up, slightly tipsy since he was on his third beer. He puts the cigarette back into his mouth and groans as he walks to the door. He opens it, only to find Luke, barley standing up. He has bruises all over his face, and his eye is starting to swell up. His lip is bleeding along with his nose. A spot on his left cheekbone has a cut on it and blood is just starting to seep out.

Michael panics, fully sober now. He pulls Luke into his apartment and takes his cigarette out of his mouth just for Luke. He puts it out in a small glass bowl by the door and he pulls Luke into a hug, probably too tight for Luke’s liking because he winces loudly.

“Fuck I’m sorry. What the hell happened?” Michael asked, helping Luke on one of the bar stools. Michael opens one of the cabinets and takes out a first aid kit. He plops it onto the bar next to Luke and places some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad.

“I got mugged. I was gonna bring back groceries, but they took them. And my wallet.” Luke explains meekly. Michael’s face softens as he places the padding of his thumb onto Luke’s lower lip. He’s sure to rub the part that isn’t cut up.

“Where?”

“Just a few buildings down.” Luke says, and Michael puts the cotton down abruptly. Luke’s eyes widen as Michael makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes and putting on his coat. “Michael, there’s three of them. They’re big and—“

“I don’t fucking care. They’re not getting away with this.” Michael hisses. Anger fills his body and he swears to God, he will kill these guys who hurt the only person he loves.

“You’re gonna get killed!” Luke shouts.

“Not if I fucking kill them first.”

He’s out the door with fists clenched tightly. He steps down the stairs and makes it down to the sidewalk, and he’s speed walking down the street. When he hears laughing coming from an alleyway south of the complex, he sees three men looking through grocery bags and one of them playing with Luke’s wallet.

“Hey!” Michael yells. The men look up at Michael and laugh.

“The fuck you looking at, asshole?” the one on the middle asks.

“You hurt my boyfriend.” Michael fumed, stepping toward the three. They all look at each other and stifle a laugh.

“You’re a fag, huh? With that little twink?”

Michael doesn’t hesitate to push the middle one against the brick wall. The three start to gang up on Michael now, but he won’t back down. No one hurts Luke.

They end up getting a few punches into Michael, but Michael just fights back. When he gets a chance, he punches one of them in the face and bashes his head against the brick wall, and the man falls onto the ground, unconscious.

“Michael!” Luke’s voice shouts. Michael looks over, at Luke, who looks small in the moonlight, and it’s a bad decision because one of the guys punch Michael hard, and his vision goes blurry for a second.

“Your little fairy boyfriend came back.” one of the men teases, pushing Michael against the brick wall while he still can. He pins Michael against the wall as the other man knees him in the stomach multiple times. Suddenly Luke lunges forward and it seems as if he was never beaten up in the first place, and he punches the man kneeing Michael hard enough that he stumbles back and falls against the dumpster. Swiftly, Luke digs into his pocket and pulls out a small rectangular contraption. He flicks a switch onto it and a blade comes out, around three inches long. Michael’s eyes widen and so does the man’s that has his grasp onto him. Without even thinking, Luke lunges forward and plants the blade into the man’s neck. Blood is everywhere and his lifeless body falls next to the dumpster. Luke looks behind him at the other man who is holding Michael. He looks terrified, while Michael has heart eyes but his mouth is slightly parted in shock.

Luke points the blade at the man and he lets go of Michael, who then falls to the ground and winces in pain. He keeps his head up and looks up at the man he loves, jaw to the ground. He struggles to stand back up so he can give Luke a hand, but the pain running through his body isn’t letting him.

“Whoa, man.” the man says, hands up as he’s backing away, “You can take your fucking money and shit, see if I care!”

It seems that Luke doesn’t care to respond and his face is just like how it was when Michael met him. Emotionless. Lifeless. His lips are sealed in a straight line when he lunges forward and plants the blade into the man’s chest, but he doesn’t stop there when he detaches the blade from his chest and pushes his body deeper into the alleyway. Michael adjusts himself so he looks in their direction. He places his hand on the brick wall to keep himself steady as he hoists himself up, limping in the direction of Luke and the man he’s about to take on.

The man is holding his hand tightly against where Luke just stabbed him, and Luke strides over to him and kicks his side. The man groans loudly and is pleading to let him live, but Luke just keeps kicking him. Luke seems into it, as if he’s addicted, and Michael stares at him in awe.

Luke is just as crazy as Michael.

“Fuck me,” Michael mumbles when the man underneath Luke doesn’t seem to be moving anymore and Luke is just kicking a lifeless body. “Luke, baby. Luke.”

Luke just keeps kicking, but he stiffens when Michael wraps his arms around him. Luke halts his movements and melts into Michael’s touch.

“I’m sorry.” Luke sobs out, retracting the blade and shoving it back into his pocket. He turns around and holds onto Michael tightly, and the man reciprocates the gesture. Michael is overwhelmed. He doesn’t know what to think, because this is what’s so similar about them. They’re both fucking psychopaths.

“That was so hot.” Michael snickers. Luke looks up at Michael in shock, or as if Michael just said something totally fucked up. Which is exactly right.

“W-what?” Luke asks, placing his hands on Michael’s chest to get a better look at him. Michael looks genuine and he’s got a smile on his face.

“That was fucking hot. You just… You just did _that.”_ Michael explains lamely, “You okay?”

“I’m… You’re asking _me_ if _I’m_ okay?” Luke starts, eyebrows furrowed, “You’re not bothered by that fact that I killed _two_ fucking people in front of you? You’re supposed to leave me and turn me into the police and-and you’re supposed to hate me, and—“

Michael interrupts Luke’s babbling and kisses Luke eagerly. Luke doesn’t kiss back out of shock, so Michael pulls away and chuckles, “Luke, call me crazy when I say this, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re fucking mental too,” Michael starts, pulling Luke into a hug. He brings his lips to Luke’s ear, kissing the skin next to it before whispering, “I’ve killed. Countless times.”

Luke shivers and buries his face in Michael’s neck, holding him tightly. “How many?”

“Too many.”

Luke pulls away from Michael’s grasp and looks at him in the eyes, “I killed my ex fiancé. And the woman he was cheating on me with.”

The rush they’re both feeling is unexplainable. They’re looking at each other with heart eyes as they’re standing around two dead bodies and one unconscious. “I want to know everything about you.”

“Me too.”

“Fuck,” Michael whispers. cupping Luke’s cheeks and grinning widely. Luke smiles back, its psychotic. “I love you so much, Luke.”

“I love you too.” Luke responds, pulling him into a deep kiss. The kiss gets heated, but Michael pulls away and kisses Luke’s neck as he speaks.

“We need to get rid of these bodies before we do anything else.” Michael says.

“What do you usually do?”

Michael smirks, “Want me to teach you my ways?”

“Well, I mean, you have no choice. What are we gonna do about that guy you put to sleep?” Luke asks, gesturing toward the man on the ground.

Michael bites his lip and thinks for a few seconds before responding, “We take him with his friends.”

 

They end up on Michael’s boat. He has never brought anyone on it before so this is a first for Michael. Hell, no one has helped him get rid of bodies.

“Give me one of the bags.” Michael orders. Luke is quick to grab one of the bags, groaning from the weight. He gives it to Michael and he tosses it over the edge and watches it sink, “Geez, I never thought I’d be doing this again today.”

Luke stares at Michael, baffled, “You killed today?”

“That’s where I went today.” Michael snickered, “It’s been too long, you know?” The blond doesn’t say anything. Instead, he picks up another bag and throws it into the ocean. Once all of the bags are gone, Luke finds himself attaching himself onto Michael. His arms are wrapped around his torso and his face is buried in his back. “What are you thinking of?”

“You.” Luke replies. Michael smiles and turns around so they’re face to face.

“About?” Michael asks, wrapping his arms around the younger man. Luke smiles and shakes his head.

“I just think this whole thing is kind of silly. You’re totally okay with me killing two guys in front of you. What are the odds?”

“You’re totally okay with me helping you hide the bodies. What are the odds?” Michael adds on. Luke laughs and it’s music to Michael’s ears.

 

They get back to the flat. It’s late and they’re both exhausted. They both establish that they feel disgusting and need a shower, and Luke comes up with a marvelous idea and it’s to take a shower in Luke’s apartment. Michael has only been in there a few times from the months that they’ve known each other. As always, one thing leads to another and they’re having sex, only this time they can safely call it ‘making love.’

Luke moans quietly because the bathroom echoes a lot, he’s positive if anyone is walking down the hallway, they’d hear him. He wants to keep his voice only for Michael to hear.

Michael thrusts into Luke, hands gripping his sides while his torso is pressed up against Luke’s back. He then presses his lips against Luke’s neck to get his attention, so Luke turns his head so their lips meet.

Their kissing is sloppy, because Luke is close to his high when he parts his mouth while it’s still against Michael’s, moaning, “I’m close.”

“Love you so much.” Michael groans out, picking up his pace as he approaches his high as well.

Luke trembles underneath him when he cums, his legs shaking slightly, and Michael holds onto Luke so he doesn’t fall from the over sensitivity. They stay like that for a few minutes in silence as the water from the faucet showers onto them.

“Hey,” Luke starts, panting. His voice is soft but it echoes through the room. Michael places small kisses along Luke’s back as he speaks, “Are we gonna get caught?”

“Not if we’re careful.” Michael assures.

Luke sighs and shakes his head, “B-but those guys were huge. What if they were in a gang? And their leader—“

“Luke,” Michael interrupts, chuckling lowly. Luke detaches their embrace and turns around, arms already wrapping around the other man’s neck. “Get in bed, okay? Don’t worry about it. We’re fine. We did things quick and easy and no one is going to find out.”

“Sorry,” Luke mumbles. “I haven’t killed in a long time. Getting away with that one was just pure luck.”

Silence grows between them again and they’re just looking into each other’s eyes, when Michael smiles. Luke stares at him in confusion and Michael starts to chuckle, “How’d you get into juvy?”

Luke rolls his eyes and steps out of the shower, leaving his lover behind. He wraps a towel around himself and smirks at the older man, “I stabbed a kid with scissors.”

“Oh my god, Luke.” Michael snickers, following behind the other man as they make their way into the bedroom. Michael just slips into Luke’s bed with only his boxers since in the morning its most likely they’d have sex again. Luke, however, slips on some underwear and a big t-shirt with a band logo.

He crawls into bed next to Michael and rests his head onto his chest, Michael plays with Luke’s slightly damp hair. “Can I ask you something?” Luke hums in response, eyes fluttering shut, “Why were you crying that one night?”

Luke opens his eyes slowly and blinks at Michael. His lips are pressed in a thin line as he draws patterns along Michael’s chest. He speaks softly and his voice breaks, “My brother Jack invited me to his wedding.”

“That's… good though... right? You should be happy for him?” Michael asks, sliding his hand up Luke’s shirt and rubbing at his side. Luke shivers at the touch and simply shakes his head.

“It’s so weird how my two siblings have this whole life that I don’t even know about.”

“They didn’t let you in?”

Luke sucks in his lower lip and lets out a long breath through his nose, “My mom didn’t want me to get near them. After I got out of Juvy my mother kicked me out of the house. She gave me some of my dad’s money so I could move far away from them.”

Michael frowns and a pit of anger rises in his stomach, “That’s so fucked up. Where is this bitch now?”

“Six feet under the ground. Heart attack.”

“Oh, shit.” Michael mumbled.

“Yeah.” Luke responds.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If I knew you at the time, I’d probably tell you to kill her.” Luke snickers at his fucked up joke, and Michael doesn’t laugh. Instead he reaches out and caresses Luke’s cheek, causing the younger man to stop snickering and look straight at Michael.

“What about your brothers?”

“Oh,” Luke starts, looking small again, “They came over last year to my apartment and wanted to give me the news that our mother died. My brother Jack is neutral most of the time, that’s why he was always my favorite brother. My other brother, Ben, loved mom. Hell, I think he was mom’s favorite. Ben sided with mom on almost everything. I know for a fact that Ben wouldn’t have came to tell me if Jack didn’t convince him.

“Anyway, I showed no interest that she was gone. Ben got angry and called me selfish. We ended up fighting and I ended up with a black eye and he ended up with a broken nose. It was a huge, ugly mess. I told them to leave me alone like what mom wanted.”

Michael lays next to Luke, speechless. He rubs Luke’s side in a comforting manner, searching for a sign that Luke was okay. When Luke looks up, a slight smile on his face, Michael smiles back and pecks Luke’s nose. They don’t say anything for a couple seconds before Michael pipes up in a sleepy tone, “You should go to the wedding and face them. Show them you’re okay. Show them you’re more than what you were before.”

“Am I?” Luke asks, eyes low.

Michael reaches out and tips his head up from the chin. He eyes Luke, and Luke eyes Michael, searching for an answer. “Of course. You moved to a different area, you met me… you killed three people, I mean, you’re a changed man, Luke.” Michael jokes, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“You’re a fucking psychopath.”

“So are you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Luke nuzzles his nose into Michael’s neck, and the older man sighs in content. It’s only in a matter of seconds when softly, Luke says, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

Luke hesitates and chokes on his words, “W-why do you do it? Why do you kill?”

_Ah._

Michael sucks in a breath and pecks Luke’s neck, almost in a way to distract him from answering. Luke moans, but then mumbles a string of whines, “Mikey, please.”

“You’re so fucking cute, babe.” Michael groans, grinding against the other man’s groin. Luke moans, but he sighs loudly and manages to flip Michael over so he’s straddling him. Luke is slightly taller than Michael, anyway, so it didn’t take much effort to gain dominance.

Luke locks both of Michael’s hands into his, placing them above his head and leaning in so their faces are only centimeters apart. “Sensitive topic?”

“A bit, yeah,” Michael admits, getting lost in Luke’s blue hues.

“Then take your time when explaining it,” Luke says, releasing his hands from Michael’s and instead placing them on either sides of Michael’s face. He rubs soothing circles on his cheekbones and Michael melts into his touch.

“My parents weren’t the best people in the world. L-like, they would, um…” Michael starts, voice small. Luke presses his forehead against Michael’s, nudging his nose softly against his. Michael closes his eyes, breathing steadily, “They hit me a lot. My dad mostly. My mom was more emotionally abusive, but there would be some cases where it would get really bad with her. They weren’t happy with their relationship at all.

“Growing up I noticed there would be multiple people coming in and out of our home quite frequently. They were all different. Occasionally some were the same. Then I noticed a pattern and my parents were hooking up with all these people. It happened for years, and there as this one guy… God, he was such a fucking creep. His name was Richard or… Rick… something like that. He was ongoing with my mom. I saw him everywhere. I ran into him at the grocery store, movies, he specifically came on Friday nights… it was the weirdest thing.

“One night he told me he was going to take my mom away from me. He called me a selfish brat, that I’d have her all to myself all the the time and I’d never appreciate her. But the truth was, I wanted to appreciate her. Growing up, everyone’s parents were so loving to them… I wanted that. I wanted that _so bad."_

 Luke sucks in a breath and pulls his face back a little bit to get a better look at Michael, who opens his eyes shortly after and stares back at Luke. Luke doesn’t say anything, he just nods to let Michael continue.

“I hated this guy so much. I needed a way to get rid of him because I dreamt of this perfect childhood and I thought it was going to happen, but it never did after I got rid of him anyway.”

“What did you do to him?” Luke asks.

“After another night with my mom, he was leaving but I was waiting for him outside. I bashed his skull in with a rock in the side yard.” Michael responds. “It was my first kill and it felt right, and I thought about doing it to my dad’s one night stands too, but it wouldn’t do any good. So I killed them instead.”

“You killed your parents?” Luke mumbles.

“Yeah,” Michael says, eyes widening, “D-does that bother you?”

“No.” Luke responds almost instantly, shaking his head, “Do you regret it?”

“No.”

“Then it doesn’t bother me.”

Michael hums and avoid’s Luke’s eyes, “It felt good. It was like a euphoric, relieving sensation. So I never stopped. Every time I was tense, I did it.”

“How did you learn to get away with it?”

“Research. I went over a lot of unsolved mystery cases and I watched some TV shows. I sorta bounced off of that. I found an option that worked, and I took it,” Michael explains almost casually. Luke stares as his finger running along his chest, focusing on the shapes he was tracing, “You’re not afraid of me?”

Luke stops and focuses his attention on Michael, who is eagerly waiting for a response. Luke shakes his head furrows his brows, “Of course not, Michael.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you…” Luke whispers, worry in his voice, “You need somebody to love and support you, and I’m that person. And it’s genuine. I’ll go through it with you. If we get caught, we get caught together. I’ll never leave you behind. Ever.”

Michael lays in silence, stunned. He can’t describe how much he loves the man laying in front of him. At the same time theres a hesitating feeling at the back of his throat, but he fights it back and instead lunges forward and kisses Luke with passion. Luke melts into Michael’s gesture and returns the favor, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck.

Love radiates between them, and Michael has never felt so whole.

 

* * *

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Michael snickers, tightening his grip on Luke’s arm, “They need to see you, Luke.”

“Us. They need to see us.” Luke corrects, voice small. Michael smiles at that as he guides Luke through the church to find a seat. They sit in the back since they never reserved seats. Some people look back at them as they walk by, with confused faces. It’s almost as if they recognize Luke, but they don’t at the same time. Luke doesn’t acknowledge them.

The pair sit in silence as the wedding starts, and Luke sees his brother standing next to the pastor. Michael glances over at Luke, whose face is softened. Luke’s mouth is slightly parted open and his eyebrows are raised, he doesn’t even realize the bride walks through the aisle until she pops up in his peripheral vision. The bride looks beautiful, and Luke can’t help but smile.

“Jack is getting married.” Luke whispers.

“Yeah. He is.” Michael says softly.

Luke stares at the two, hand in hand, staring into each other’s eyes with passion. Luke doesn’t realize a tear is falling from his cheek when Michael reaches out and wipes it away. Luke glances at Michael and smiles sadly, “He’s so happy.”

“Aren’t you happy he’s happy?” Michael asks. Luke nods and fights back tears but they fall anyway. Michael wraps his arms around Luke and the younger man cries in his expensive coat the rest of the wedding. When he hears Jack’s voice when he says his vows, Luke laughs hysterically in Michael’s chest and cries with joy when they kiss.

It’s all a weird feeling in his chest as he watches Luke fall apart like this. It’s almost like Luke is falling apart but also… growing. Michael has the sudden urge to protect Luke, not that it hasn’t been his goal this whole time, but it's all that’s in his mind and it’s all that he can feel when he watches Luke’s emotions spill out in front of him like this. Reserved, quiet, Luke.

The reception is only a block over, and it’s being held in a park with fairy lights and tables set up all around. Luke and Michael stay hip to hip the whole time, in the back. Luke is hesitating to grab food for him and Michael because he feels he doesn’t belong there, even though he got in invite in his mailbox. The bride is dancing on the dance floor with her friends and Jack is nowhere to be found.

“S-should I say something?” Luke asks, voice small.

“Only if you feel like you should.” Michael says, rubbing the small of Luke’s back.

“Luke? Luke Hemmings?” a frail old woman says. Luke’s head shoots up and he looks in the direction of her voice. Luke looks as if he knows who she is, but Michael is completely clueless.

“Nancy,” Luke says, staying close to Michael, but releasing himself out of his grip. He turns toward the woman, who has her hand on her chest and a sympathetic look on her face.

“It’s you, huh?” she asks, taking a step closer, “The last time I saw you… you were running out of your mother’s house. I never saw you again.” she recalls.

Luke nods, eyes lowered, “It was a bad situation.”

“Hey,” she says, offering a smile when Luke looks back up, “You’ve cleaned up well. It’s so nice to see you, boy.”

And the woman walks away, limping with her cane. Michael looks over at his boyfriend, who is standing there, stunned. “Who was that?”

“My next door neighbor… W-well, when I lived with my mom. She babysat me when I was younger and stuff… She kinda watched me grow.”

“I bet that was an interesting experience,” Michael says, trying to lighten up the mood. Luke only smiles slightly and avoid’s everyone’s eyes, Michael pulls him into a tight hug and buries his face in his hair. The hair Luke spent hours styling.

“Hey, uh… Little dude.” someone behind Michael says. His voice is deep, but sweet. A lot like Luke’s. Luke goes stiff under Michael’s grip. It takes him a few seconds to release himself, and he glances over Michael’s shoulder to look at his brother. Jack looks so put together up close. He looks stunning.

“Jack.” Luke says, keeping his distance.

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Jack says, disappointed, “B-but I’m glad you’re here. Oh my god, dude, I’m so glad you’re here. It’s almost like there was a missing piece, you know? With mom and dad gone… and It’s just Ben and I… I-it doesn’t feel right without you, little dude. So I’m glad you’re here. Okay, enough crying. Seriously, stop crying.”

Luke is a sobbing mess and he launches himself into his brother’s arms. Jack’s eyes widen with surprise and seconds later his face softens, wrapping his arms around his little brother. Michael stands there awkwardly, happy of course, but awkward.

“Hi, I’m Michael.” he butts in, cheeks red.

Jack looks up and smiles, holding out his hand to shake, “Jack.”

Luke detaches himself from Jack and stands in the middle of them, wiping his eyes from the tears, “Oh, um,” he starts, chuckling slightly, “Michael is my boyfriend. He uh… he treats me right.”

“Hm? Does he? He’s not gonna run away like the other prick, huh?” Jack asks, toughening up.

“No. N-no, never. Luke is the best thing thats ever happened to me. He makes me feel sane.” Michael explains briefly, feeling Luke take his hand. He squeezes his hand and brings it up to kiss it, of course Jack would never understand.

“Well I suppose that’s good. You better treat my brother right, or you’re gonna have to get through me and Ben. Oh! You guys haven’t seen Ben yet!” all the protectiveness drains from Jack’s face and it’s back to being the happy groom. He walks away and the two assume they have to follow him, so they do.

He leads them to a table where a lovely woman, the bride, and a blonde man who looks similar to Luke and Jack are sat, sharing heart eyes and soft voices. “Ben, look who decided to join us!”

Ben looks up instantly, eyes widening, “Luke, hey.”

“Hi,” is all Luke says, looking around at the beautiful people at the table.

Ben stands up and walks around the table, engulfing Luke into a hug, “Don’t ever shut us out again, got that?”

“Yeah.” Luke sobs.

“We’re glad you’re here.” Ben says, hugging Luke tighter. Ben looks up as Luke is still a crying mess in his expensive coat, holding Luke close, he extends one of his arms out to Michael, who shakes it.

“Michael,” he says.

“Ben.” he gives Michael a look, almost as if it’s the same message Jack gave to him. Michael nods anyway, and Ben smiles.

“Everyone on the dance floor, come on!” the DJ yells through the microphone, and suddenly a bunch of adults, kids, and teenagers are getting up from their seat and heading to the dance floor and pop music plays. Women who have had too much alcohol dispose of their shoes and dance with their husbands or girlfriends, and Michael nudges Luke.

Luke stares off into the crowd of people after the bride introduces herself to Luke, and as his brothers run off to the dance floor to urge the two men to come with.

He looks up at Michael and bites his lip, and the older man smiles and nods, “We can eat first.”

“You know me so well.” Luke snickers, dragging his boyfriend toward the buffet.

 

The night consists of too many drinks and crying with his brothers, and a brother-brother dance, specifically requested by Ben. Everyone laughs when Michael pushes Luke up to the middle of the stage, his newly wedded brother waiting there with his hand out. It looked silly to watch two clones slow dance with each other, sometimes goofily, when Jack decides to sway Luke’s hips a bit too much or when Luke steps on his feet. The whole time they share whispered exchanges, and Michael sits in the front row next to Ben smiling, thinking this was the best decision for Luke.

Luke is going to be happier.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Present Day,  Christmas Eve**

  **9:30 PM**

 

Michael squeezes Luke’s hand when he sees him zoning out. He looks so small when he looks at his lover. His pom-pom beanie is a perfect fit, something Michael gifted him in the morning. He specifically wanted Luke to wear it tonight when they watch the tree lighting in the shopping mall. Of course the mall already had a tree lighting before, but this was going to be the grand tree lighting.

"What are you thinking about?" Michael asks.

"What I'm gonna get Jack. I know it's Christmas Eve and it's super last minute, but I couldn't think of anything. If we're going over to their house tomorrow for dinner, then I need something. I got Ben that jersey from his favorite rugby team. I was gonna get Jack the same thing, but that would just be awkward, you know?" Luke rambles on, and Michael pulls him closer cause the air was starting to get cold. They were at an outdoor mall, after all, and it's about 40 degrees out.

"You'll figure it out, I promise." Michael assures.

"Fuck." Luke mutters.

"Hey," Michael stops them in their tracks and Luke pouts like a little kid. He takes both of his hands and bring them up to his lips, pressing kisses to them, "Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna find something and you're gonna go, _'Oh! Jack would like that!'_ and you'd buy it and _boom_ , we can have our romantic night out, if that's what you wanna call it."

Luke sighs and rolls his eyes, "Romantic night out. What a sap, you are."

"What? Prick." Michael snickers. Luke smiles under his scarf and wraps his arms around Michael as they walk toward the crowd of people surrounded by a large tree. There's a choir singing Christmas carols and the crowd of people are singing along, and kids are running around the tree in joy.

"You know," Luke starts, Michael looks over at the man as he's buried in his scarf as well. Luke is looking straight ahead as he speaks, "I used to hate Christmas."

"Why?" Michael asks.

Luke looks at the ground and then back up at Michael, "I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I was alone for years. Going out and watching all the normal, happy families spend time together made my heart and head ache. It was just something I avoided. I couldn't be around all the happy people while I was sulking."

Michael furrows his eyebrows with a sympathetic smile, "How do you feel now?"

Luke smiles, "Happy."

Michael's face softens and he pulls Luke in for a kiss. Without even knowing it, everyone is cheering and they detach their lips to see that the lights on the tree are lit, and the colors illuminate around the area. The crowd is cheering and kids are screaming, urging their parents to allow them to sit on Santa's lap.

Michael looks over at Luke, who is grinning, and the younger man's eyes meet Michael's, pure joy on his face, "I think I know what to get for Jack. Come on!"

So Luke drags Michael to a nearby shop, where they find exactly what Luke was looking for, and Michael couldn't resist but to kiss the expression on Luke's face. Luke was happy, meaning Michael was happy. And Michael never thought he would see this day.

"Do you think it's cheesy?" Luke asks, clutching onto the bag with one hand and squeezing Michael's with his other.

"It's sweet." Michael says with a smile, "What kind of pictures are you gonna put in it?"

"Childhood photos, maybe. It'll be nice. I mean, I know I missed out on most of their childhood... but it's all about making the best out of what you have." Luke explains, and he continues to ramble on and on about what he'll put in the digital picture frame.

Michael listens to every word Luke says while he focuses on every detail of Luke's features. His dimples when he smiles, his red nose when it's cold, or how his sapphire blue eyes sparkle when he's excited. He loves every inch of Luke, every flaw like the freckles on his shoulders or the speck of white on his front tooth.

"I love you so much, Luke." Michael butts in, where Luke stops speaking and glares at Michael with faux disappointment, "Sorry for interrupting. Continue."

Luke stops in his tracks and wraps his arms around Michael's neck, "I love you too, Michael. Thank you for everything."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because... You changed me. I'm..." Luke starts but he can't finish the rest of his sentence without breaking down into tears.

"I know." Michael snickers, "Hey, stop crying."

Luke only sobs harder, "I can't!" Michael just laughs and holds Luke close, and the choir continues to sing in the distance. Children and couples walk around them, considering they're standing in the middle of the walkway, while they share their special moment.

 

Love radiates between them, and they both have never been this happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for the read! Feedback and comments motivate me so much so I would appreciate it if you let me know your thoughts.
> 
> This one-shot thingy took me MONTHS of planning, writing, and editing. I feel so accomplished even though it's like... the darkest thing I've ever written. But anyway, thank you.
> 
> Seriously, thank you.
> 
> -Jade


End file.
